Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Posted by Gwen |

I saw a band the other night called the Garbanzos. They were playing at Venice Cafe, a prerequisite for which is to be somewhat "off the grid." The Garbanzos are. Sixty year old men playing a mixture of Cajun, polka, and rock music while dressed in women's clothes is attention grabbing. Although I still don't understand why the drummer took out his front five teeth to sing his one song. The spectacle meter was already registering pretty high and I don't think anyone likes a lisp. Tolerate yes, like no. I guess its conceivable.

Between sets, Gwen confronted one of the band members who was wearing a blouse with multi-colored polka dots. She told him that she once owned that same blouse and asked where he got it. He seemed kind of defensive. I wandered away, convinced that at any second Gwen would realize she had slept with him and given the blouse as a gift.

When we were outside having a drink, I met a couple from the Dominican Republic. As a baseball fan, I recognize that many of the best players in the U.S. are from the Dominican. Albert Pujols is just one of several dozen Dominicans currently playing in Major League Baseball. The Dominican Republic and Haiti share the island of Hispaniola, with Haiti occupying roughly a third of the island and the Dominican the other two-thirds. Like many countries, the borders between the two are arbitrary. The topography is the same in Haiti and the D.R.
I asked the couple why there are dozens of baseball players in the U.S. from their country, but exactly zero from Haiti. They had no idea.

I just went outside to turn off the sprinkler. An old man walking down the street commented on the heat and then asked if I had any extra appliances that he could have. I told him not really. Is an iron lung an appliance?

2 comments:

Guenosdias! said...

1. Awesome work here! Thank you so much for taking such good care of it for me. I owe you one.

2. It wasn't a gift. Clearly he stole it for a souvenir.

3. It's because during the times the Dominican Republic was a colony it was primarily under Spanish rule while Haiti spent more time colonized by the French. And we all know the French suck at baseball.

4. I'm not sure if the iron lung is an applicance, but you might as well let him have it. You know how hard it is to get replacement parts these days.

Senalda said...

Thanks for writing this.

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