Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

4/16/2008

Apologies and Accolades

Posted by Gwen |

To the tractor trailer operator who I cut off yesterday:

I am so sorry. I did not intend to cut you off and then slow down. My uncle is a TTO so I am sensitive to the problems y’all encounter with us “four wheelers.” I swear that if I had known the gal in the next lane over was going to stop, thereby preventing me from continuing to merge, I wouldn’t have moved into your lane at all.

But your neo-Nazi passenger who flipped me off with the white-hot fury of a thousand suns? He can eat shit and die. Please let him know he looks utterly ridiculous and I hope his face freezes like that.

To Terry and Nigel, the AT&T support technicians who figured out why my laptop was not connecting to the wireless network and then made it happen Tim Gunn style:

Thank you so much for your competent and lively assistance. You are both princes among men. I enjoyed your southern gentility and our conversations about pets and motor vehicle accidents. I also appreciated that you both speak English as a first language. Be sure to send me that survey as I am dying to tell your superiors how great you were.

3 comments:

Liz said...

I should craft up some Cricut thank you notes for you to send to these folks.

amy & jeff said...

I got the finger from an overly-angry trucker once, too. I was in front of him and we both decided to merge into the other lane at the same time and apparently I was wrong for not allowing him to go first. He followed me all the way down 44 until he got off but he made sure to honk his big horn and flip me the bird before he did. Asswipe.

othurme said...

Thanks for being to nice to the world. But now I have to tell three people to fuck off tomorrow so there will be balance in the universe.

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