It was suggested this week that during my most recent month-long blog hiatus I was "just gathering material that she'll release in a torrent of posts." I wish I could say that was the case, but it just isn't. I can't lie to you, Internet, you're my most trusted friend. No, I've just been eating M&M's by the hands full, plucking my eyebrows every time I go pee and watching movies, which, while quite enjoyable for me, isn't worthy of reporting.
But! Some Guy's Retrospective reminded me that there is love in blogging so I vowed last night to come here and write down everything that makes me laugh really hard until I can find my groove again. Even if it's just to recite email content.
Ready? Here's today's funniest moment:
A friend was telling me about something he did in the past that was (still is) very illegal. Yes, there are levels of illegal. I break a multitide of laws every day, but they're little ones - as far as you know. His was major. (That's what she said.)
Anyway, he described his actions as "Apollo illegal." Now, I had no freaking clue what "Apollo illegal" meant so I asked:
I was laughing so hard at myself while I typed that paragraph that I had tears in my eyes, and not the fake blog-comment kind. REAL TEARS, people.What is "Apollo illegal"? Is that something that is SOOOOO illegal that when you do it Apollo Creed shows up and punches you in the head? Because that would deter me. I have a vague memory of you telling me this story before. I must've been Apollo drunk. (That's when you're so drunk that Apollo Creed shows up and punches you in the head.)
He replied - something cryptic about spellcheck - so I assume he didn't mean to say "Apollo illegal", but he didn't tell me what he meant to say. That's a mystery I don't need to solve, but I have decided I'll be using "Apollo" as an adjective that means fucking business from now on.
