Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

10/22/2009

A homeless rose by any other name . . .

Posted by Gwen |

Having been graced with an uncommon name that I love (Thanks, Mom!), my interest is always piqued when I meet other Gwens or when I see it mentioned anywhere. So much so that as a senior in college I once terrorized a freshman girl named Gwen in an effort to convince her that she should use her middle name. I think my position was something like, "When people say 'Gwen' around here, I know they are talking about me and I don't want there to be any confusion." Yeah, I was a peach in college.


Anyway, you can imagine my surprise when one of my friends brought it to my attention this morning that American Girl has a new doll named Gwen. And she's homeless. Apparently, Miss Gwen's daddy lost his job and left his family thereby forcing Miss Gwen and her mama to live in their car for a while.

Now I should probably be upset that American Girl is selling a HOMELESS doll for $95. (Ooooh, the irony!) Or that they are sending terrible messages about daddies and men in general. But I'm not. I'm upset that she has my name.

I wonder what her middle name is and whether or not Miss Gwen and her mama have a phone now.

On Thursday MelO sent me an email.  The subject line read, "Happy Halloween!"  Knowing MelO, I suspected a good, hearty chuckle out of the content.  Instead my eyes were seared by this image:


I replied, "Oh, my God.  The first thing that came to mind was, who the hell had the nerve to get close enough to that ginormous ass to paint it."

MelO:  I KNOW! I mean, I can just hear it now... "oh! wait a minute... I need to get a little more orange in your actual crack... no... Dammit Bertha! I told you to bend over and hold still!"

Me:  I bet she farted at least once.  I would've just for . . . wait for it . . . shits and giggles.  Dibs on blogging this email string.

MelO:  LMAO!! AWWWWW maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!

5 minutes later . . . 
 
MelO:  (still laughing)... shits and giggles.... tee hee hee hee...LOL

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