Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!


Adding insult to holiday weight gain.

Posted by Gwen |

Today is my first day back at work in a week and a half. It isn't as bad as I expected except for the having to wear pants. I was forced to perform repeated deep knee bends to get my pants on over my juicier-than-before-the-holidays backside.

What's worse is that the automatic air freshener in the ladies room at my office has a low battery which means that it makes a "Beep! Beep!" sound every so often. Every freaking time I squat to sit on the pot today the damn thing goes off in a fashion similar to a large dump truck backing up. If they don't change the batteries soon I am going to rip it off the wall and stomp on it.


LM said...

There's no way you gained that much weight so fast that your pants don't fit. I think it's Pallet Day Bloating. Shoot, that day could cause bloating for a week.

amy & jeff said...

THAT IS HILARIOUUUUUUUS!!! You should totally rip it down.

Damn beeping.