Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Every week on Men in Trees Marin, the female lead, foreshadows the episode’s plot in a radio show broadcast. She waxes poetic about a topic during her radio show and finishes with a thought-provoking question that is answered in the next forty minutes. This week she asked, “In a relationship, do you have the right to remain silent?”

You see, her live-in boyfriend, Jack, was recently lost at sea for five days, during which time he was forced to cut another shipwrecked, and dying, mate loose from his rescue raft. I know, the premise is fantastic, but bear with me, I’m going somewhere here.

Jack’s character is stoic. He’s not an open guy nor is he overly demonstrative. He’s the handsome, silent archetype and his experiences at sea sealed him up tighter than a drum. Marin struggles with his unavailability while simultaneously being reunited with a former beau, Stuart, a man who expresses himself easily.

In the end, Jack experiences an epiphany about the importance of communication in a relationship, clearly and concisely expresses his fears to Marin, who instantly forgives him and all is well. But we all know it just ain’t that easy.

Outside the confines of your television set, this couple would have entered the fight with enough baggage and agenda items to obstruct any real resolution. Names would have been called, heirlooms would have been thrown like the first pitch on opening day and somebody’s mama would have been insulted.

It happens. We’re human. Most of us don’t fight fair. My prior, serious relationships failed for many reasons but much of the heartache in both could have been avoided if we had been better communicators.

So no, Marin, you do not have the right to remain silent in a relationship. In fact, what you have is an obligation to be open and vulnerable, to share yourselves freely. If you can’t do this, it won’t likely last. But if you can, you might actually get to meet my elusive friends: Trust, Respect and True Love.

If I am lucky enough to get another chance at it, I hope I can remember these things. Maybe I should just go ahead and bookmark this post for quick future reference, no?