Everything I Like Causes Cancer

One of my co-workers is an office recluse. She keeps her office door closed at all times and is rarely seen outside of it. She only participates in the mandatory office functions and never chit-chats.

Because she and I were members of the original staff, she will actually stop by my office about once a month to visit. I have known for weeks that she is pregnant, not because she has told anyone, but because it's visually obvious. I care about her and I've been dying for an opening to let her know that I know.

And the other day I got it. She had come down to my end of the office to get a glass of water and stopped by to chat. I don't remember what we were talking about but there was an opening and I went for it. Unfortunately I was so excited that I was hasty with my word choice. What I said was, "Speaking of obvious, there's an elephant in the room that I'd like to discuss."

Her reply? "Did you just call me an elephant?"

Gifted in the art of social discourse, I am.