Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!


I'm retarded.

Posted by Gwen |

One of my co-workers is an office recluse. She keeps her office door closed at all times and is rarely seen outside of it. She only participates in the mandatory office functions and never chit-chats.

Because she and I were members of the original staff, she will actually stop by my office about once a month to visit. I have known for weeks that she is pregnant, not because she has told anyone, but because it's visually obvious. I care about her and I've been dying for an opening to let her know that I know.

And the other day I got it. She had come down to my end of the office to get a glass of water and stopped by to chat. I don't remember what we were talking about but there was an opening and I went for it. Unfortunately I was so excited that I was hasty with my word choice. What I said was, "Speaking of obvious, there's an elephant in the room that I'd like to discuss."

Her reply? "Did you just call me an elephant?"

Gifted in the art of social discourse, I am.


abbersnail said...

I do that stuff ALL THE TIME. I was recently out with a group of gal pals who are all slightly older than I am. I'd been out the night before with a group of very young twenty-somethings, and we'd all been treated like we were carrying fake IDs. So naturally, I happily announced that it was great hanging out with these ladies because I loved not getting carded.

It did not have the desired impact.

pistols at dawn said...

"No, because at this point, your ass is way huger than an elephant's. Don't flatter yourself."

Anonymous said...

what makes this post even funnier is the fact that your next post is regarding disturbed people.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Secretly pregnant people are SO sensitive. Jeez!