Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

If you have big strong arms . . .

And concentrate really hard . . . 

You just might be able to carve a pumpkin as awesome as mine.

But it will never be as scary.

Dang thing gets me every time!

29 comments:

liberalmudhen said...

That's not as scary as the dropsheet in the background - ostensibly to wrap the body in...

McGone said...

Were I the type of hooligan to smash pumpkins, I would pause before yours and let it live to frighten another day.

Poobomber said...

Stop looking at it then!

Haha, that pumpkin is awesome!

Dr Zibbs said...

I thought you were going to put it on the JRM construction guys' ass like that pumpkin ass picture from the other day and you were going to say...."and you can put it on your ass" (showing picture of JRM Construction guy) ..then, "but it will never be as frightening as this" (and then you'd show a pic of the pumpkin as guy).....does that make sense?

-R- said...

Very impressive (and scary) pumpkin!

surviving myself said...

I once made a pumpkin that was puking. That's the height of my creativity.

Renaissance Woman said...

I love the pumpkin. I have never been able to make it look that good. It's magic.

Cant Hardly Wait said...

Actually, that's a very well carved pumpkin. Maybe ya'll should be professional pumpkin carvers. Or maybe not. I don't know.

Gwen said...

Dr. Zibbs: I'm ashamed to say yes. Somehow I get you, even when no one else seems to.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Since we were all sick last weekend, we didn't get to go to the farm and get our pumpkins. Sadly, we're going to have a pumpkin-less Halloween this year.

For a while, it seemed that we were going to have a costume-less Halloween, as well, but fortunately my wife found the appropriate costumes for both kids in the appropriate sizes. Hooray! The day is saved!

Whiskeymarie said...

I can't have a pumpkin as the jackass kids in my neighborhood will smash it (I'm looking at YOU Mcgone) and then I'll be all angry at the universe and then I'll have to secretly plot how I could smash YOUR pumpkin out of jealousy, and...

that's just too much work. I'll save everyone the trouble and just dump a can of pumpkin puree on my front stems and avoid the middle man.

I like your scary pumpkin though, despite my obvious jealousy.

Whiskeymarie said...

front STEPS.

Gah, I really need to proofread these things.

Stacie said...

nice job.

Suze said...

If you would give me your address, I would come steal the pumpkin. I'm like that. Better yet, if you just post your address on your blog, it would save me from having to open up my email. Thanks :)

LM said...

Nice carving work. Those tiny little saws really do the trick, no? Remember the good ol' days of using a regular big ass knife trying to carve the teeth, which inevitably carved the teeth right off? Ahh, memories.

enc said...

Very scary!

pistols at dawn said...

How did you entice others to do the lifting and cutting?

Gwen said...

Pistols: Those two are my minions.

hello haha narf said...

for the love of lugosi, that is one hell of an awesome punkin!

WendyB said...

I'm impressed!

words words words said...

I'm something of an artist, and I'll never be able to do that. AWESOME.

Falwless said...

That thing almost made me fall outta my chair.

In other news, I totally love your Jack Handey Deep Thoughts widget on the side there. Man, we are so alike it's scary.

My favorite quote in the world (for about 8 or 9 years now) is, "Dad always said laughter is the best medicine. I guess that's why several of us died of tuberculosis." - J.H.

Just.. magical.

Falwless said...

I was just over at that Deep Thoughts site thanks to the link below that widget. It made me remember another of my favorites:

"If a kid asks you why it's raining I think a cute thing to tell them is, 'God is crying.' If they ask why God is crying I think another cute thing to tell them is, 'Probably because of something you did.'" - J.H.

Fuck I love Deep Thoughts.

MelO said...

I'm with Falwless on the Deep Thoughts widget! I love that Jack Handey.

Verwy Scarwy Pumpkin, Ms. Gwennie

MelO said...

I love how you look genuinely SHOCKED in the last pic. Lol. You. Are. Great.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

That is one impressive gourd you've got there.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

That is one impressive gourd you've got there.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I hiccuped.

katrocket said...

great job on that pumpkin. The last photo is hilarious!

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