Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Almost no one gets to see my basement.  I let Peabody see it once when we were drinking and promptly swore her to secrecy under the threat of death the next day.


It's where I stash things.  It's the dumping ground.  When I moved into this house four years ago I put all the boxes in the dining room (centrally located, not essential to daily living) and unpacked from there.  As the contents of each box dwindled to things that were not getting unpacked, I took the box to the basement.  Over time, the pile of boxes grew.  And grew.  And grew.

By the time I was finished the first and second floors looked great but the basement had turned into a beast I was afraid to fight.

Just try to find the old TV in this picture.


Inspired by my Grandpa's courage yesterday I rolled up my sleeves, put on my rattiest sweats and tamed the beast with my bare hands.

Hey! There's the TV!  And the floor!
(the boxes in the lower left corner are broken down and ready for recycling
and the stuff on and around the TV will be on shelves as soon as I buy some more)

You can even see and open the halfbath door now.  My next project is to actually open it (has only been done once while I lived here), pull up the old fuzzy rug that's in there - ::shudder:: - and scrub the sink and toilet.  I may need liquid courage for that job.

32 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm a bit of an authority on antiques and collectibles and looking at these photos, you my dear have a goldmine on your hands. Let me just take a closer look...Nevermind. It's all junk.

dmb5_libra said...

liquid courage? drunk is the only way to clean.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Man, clearing out that basement looks like fun. I love doing stuff like that.

Yeah, I'm weird.

Some Guy said...

That's the kind of job I dread, but it feels oh-so-good once it's done.

Now, time to start filling all that empty space with new crap!

liberalmudhen said...

LOVE the "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" reference. A truly underrated piece of genius. Well done, madam.

paperback reader said...

I've been told that cleaning while high is very helpful. I don't know, though, because I never clean anything. That's what relationships are for.

McGone said...

What did you do with all the bodies? That's the problem that always keeps me from cleaning?

McGone said...

Sorry... it's instinctual that I put a question mark after the word "cleaning" since it's such a foreign concept to me.

Falwless said...

I'm still laughing at Zibbs' comment.

Damn it, I wish that kid weren't so freakin' funny.

This is quite a feat, Gwennie. Quite a feat. Are you available for rent for a day or a weekend? Competitive rates?

Mel O said...

Looks like you got a lot of kitchen stuff down there... no cooky-cooky lately?

Great job, btw... even if I don't believe you cleaned your basement all day on your day off (while a lot of us 'worked')!

H said...

I love that you put the stuffed cat chasing the ball in the blue toy on the floor. Very clever. This is like a Where's Gwen's Crap puzzle?
Anything you are giving away that a broke ass sista might need?

Whiskeymarie said...

I have become a bit of a freak when it comes to organization projects like this over the last few years. If I had been there to help, you'd have nothing left down there except maybe the TV and the vacuum cleaner. Tough love, baby- get rid of shit and change your life!!!!
For the right kind of cocktails and maybe some nachos I'll come over and help you purge even more stuff, but you're on your own with the bathroom. When I was opening my restaurant, I had to clean the "staff" bathroom in the basement that had obviously not been touched in 20+ years. The only thing I can compare it to is the bathroom that Ewan MacGregor dives into in "Trainspotting."
Ick, ick, ick.
Once was enough, thank you.

Renaissance Woman said...

Good work! Now that you are done doing the cleaning in your basement I could use a little help. Since tearing everything apart over the summer to replace the plumbing...I have a mess.

Anonymous said...

I've looked at this most of the day and for the life of me I can't find Waldo!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Bravo! Great job. I did that nasty job last year and had a huge garage sale! It was alot of work and I met some serious weirdos that I absolutely invited into the sanctity of my garage to buy a few pieces of my life. You meet all kinds of people that show up in categories; ie:the early bird, the professional, the price haggler etc. Could be an entire post with pictures. Very entertaining indeed. Anyway, my sale was a success and I grossed over $1K which I promptly donated to a children' charity. I'm philanthropic like that.

Anonymous said...

Clean out that half bath that hasn't been touched in years? And the bath rug inside it?

Hell, I thought that's what we had kids for!

LOL

Anonymous said...

I rolled up my sleeves, put on my rattiest sweats and tamed the beast with my bare hands.

You just described the first school dance I went to.

words...words...words... said...

What is it with all you people that have real, live houses? You think you're better than me?

Dr Zibbs said...

Gwen, I just came back to look at this and upon closer inspection, will you do me a favor. Please. get rid of that monkey stuffed animal that's wearing the hat. You're an adult.

Gwen said...

Doc: FYI, General Drinking Monkey was a fixture at my favorite corner bar. The owner gave it to me when the bar closed. It's sentimental. It's also in the basement, where you put things that you can't get rid of but don't want out in your house.

Secondarily, I don't see you giving Whiskeymarie any shit about her monkeys. Why you always pickin' on me?

Dr Zibbs said...

Gwen, I kid because I love.

mike said...

Hi Gwen. Liberalmudhen stole my thunder, but I also love the Pee Wee reference. Nicely done.

I also like that you have a full length mirror hanging on the wall, even though the basement was filled with crap. All that did was give the illusion that you had more crap in there.

Mo said...

Sweet Jesus, that was quite the makeover. Bravo.

And good luck with that rug. If we don't hear from you for a few days, we'll send someone in.

Scope said...

Gwen, (sob) I though WE were your monkeys!

- Is that 'shine in those mason jars?

- I don't see that PC tower in the afters. Please tell me you pulled the hard drive out before pitching it.

- Don't use that iPod / dock much, eh?

- I swear to GOD I thought that blue thing was a hemorrhoid ring for your turlet.

Gwen said...

Scope: The mason jars are empty but ready to be filled with homemade dills next year - the PC is in the big box next to the TV, I put all the "unwanted electrics" in there for a decision to be made later - the iPod/dock was down there to entertain me while I worked but I had to prop it in that box until I cleared the area - and maybe it is a Roid Ring, one never knows!

And yes, you are my monkeys. I would NEVER, EVER, NEVER put you guys in the basement.

Elizabeth said...

Congratulations on this Very Important Task Completion, Gwen!

I was just going to tell you to set fire to it all, but hey, unpacking and organizing is a great second choice.

Spud Mack said...

And its official....there are now more basement blogs than cat blogs.

Unknown said...

well, that was quite the job...ya did good!

Tony Alva said...

Is that the cat box sitting on top of boxes?

MJenks said...

Forget Liquid Courage. Just get Jon.

Scope said...

Gwen, if I've never told you before, I'm telling you now:

You have some quality junk in your basement. ;-)

ÄsK AliCë said...

Cleaning the basement on your day off - why the self-torture?? Good for you though

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