Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

11/21/2008

For Amanda

Posted by Gwen |

Super Fantastic Soccer Mom Amanda tagged me last week with the "Seven Things" meme.  I've been afraid to do it since Falwless issued an edict banning any further memes and awards.  That said, I adore Amanda and I don't want to ignore her so I mixed it up a bit.  Following are seven things about me from yesterday and one is a lie.  Tell me which one.

1.  I pulled a hamstring putting on my pants.

2.  The butcher at the grocery store had shaped a pile of pork sausage into a 3D pig face and I immediately thought, "Start snappin' you fingers!"  (Zibbidy's last avatar was a pig mask with this caption.)

3.  I had a KFC Mashed Potato Bowl for lunch and it gave me heartburn.

4.  Driving to work I couldn't figure out why my car never warmed up inside.  I was pretty upset that it was going to need more work and then realized the air conditioning was on.

5.  I only received a handful of emails with CHRIST! in the subject line which means those of you who sent one can expect a much better gift and/or card than I originally planned. Anyone who sends a request after I publish this post can expect a lump of coal.  So there.

6.  I realized that I am in the weeds at work so deep that there needs to be three of me. Any of you have an interest in tort law and a nonpaying internship? Email me and put “SLAVE” in the subject line.

7.  I received a comment from “Brian”, which I know is one of you messing with me.  I tried to narrow it down but it could be any one of you freaks.

28 comments:

Amanda said...

I'm a tiny bit giddy that I get a post dedicated to me *blush*. Thanks Gwen!

I don't KNOW which one is a lie. I'm going to guess number 3.

Sass said...

I'm going with the hamstring being a lie. I don't know why. I know nothing of Bri...

Wow...did you see that poetry in motion right there? I'm so fabulous.

Oh, and in response to who you have to sleep with...everyone. Like seriously. Everyone.

McGone said...

I'm betting #2 is a lie, because I'm convinced that Zibbs isn't real, but is actually something I imagined during a fever dream. Like the Bogie Man.

Dr Zibbs said...

the "you" in start snapping you fingers was a spelling error that even bother me. But I'm so lazy that it took me 2 months to find a new avatar. Also, what ever did happen with this Brian fellow?

hello haha narf said...

i want a lump of coal

hello haha narf said...

p.s. please tell me that #1 was the lie

Falwless said...

Zibbs - the spelling mistake made it even better. It was so you to have such a glaring error and leave it like that...

I think this whole list is a lie. You probably don't even have a job and I've never heard of this "KFC" of which you speak.

Nice work, Gwen. Or should I call you PINOCCHIO?

Anonymous said...

Freak? Where's the love...I'll see you tonight in my dreams, or by your garage.

liberalmudhen said...

I going with #3. KFC bowls are not for eating, but rather for slathering. Whatever happened with the Secret Psycho?

Whiskeymarie said...

I'm saying #3 as well, mostly because KFC scares me a little.

I pulled a muscle in my neck the other day from laughing like an idiot, if that makes you feel any better about #1.

Whiskeymarie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Whiskeymarie said...

Crap. That only works if I remember to log out first.

Mermanda said...

I really wanted to send you my address for a holiday surprise, but I feel as though I am not worthy of such blessings. :(

Stacie said...

well, I hope number one is a lie...cause that would suck...and kinda be funny...not that I would laugh. No siree.

Sausage Mechanic said...

Based on inside information, I say #6. We all know you just blog all day. ;D

H said...

#1

cause I know you love your "bowls of sadness" from KFC.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfan5MacmsI

surviving myself said...

#3 you're lucky you're still alive.

words words words said...

#2. Butchers aren't interested in fine art.

MelO said...

No way... #3 is definitely true. Well, I don't know that you had it I guess, but if you did, then it damn well gave you heart burn!

#4 does seem like something you would do (only because I just did that less than two weeks ago... ha ha ha!)

# 5 isn't very believable, because who doesn't like presents? but then again... who loves giving out their address to potential stalkers (besides me?)? buuuutttt...

I'm going with #2. #2 because who the hell has enough time on their hands to shape a pile of pork sausage into a 3D pig's face? Shit... in this economy? They probably do!

Okaaaaay... fine. #1. #1 is a lie and that's my final answer.

[crossing fingers and holding my breath...]

LM said...

I'm going with #7

Giggle Pixie said...

I'm thinking #1 is the lie. Because I happen to know from personal experience that the only injury you get from trying to stuff yourself into your jeans is a knock on the head from when you fall backwards onto the floor.

Wait...I DON'T know that from personal experience. I'm just ASSUMING.

:-)

LegalMist said...

Wait, Falwless issued an edict banning any further awards? I feel so.... left out. I never got any and now I can't because of this selfish edict?

#4 is a lie. It's so innocuous and true-seeming that it just has to be false...

Some Guy said...

I know #1 is a lie because you never wear pants. In fact, you never wear anything on the lower half of your body. Frankly, it's a little unprofessional.

LYDIA said...

I tried a KFC Masher bowl one time, the chicken was soggy. I don't like soggy.

Scope said...

1. I hope not. I've always fanaticized umm... IMAGINED that you were quite flexible.

2. I hope not. I like it when people take enough pride in their work to add an artistic flair.

3. I hope not. You know, they had to change the name because it can't legally be sold as "chicken" any more.

4. I hope not. I had to bring the brass monkey collection in weeks ago. If you are just now flipping on the heater…

5. I hope not. I want to believe there is some order in the Gweneverse.

6. I hope not. You might get tested, and I don't want it showing that you've been "in the weed".

7. I hope not. If it were one of us, we wouldn't have just done a quick "Anonymous." We would have set up a fake blogger account with the name "Brian" then written some backdated posts about you, some that corresponded to the dates that the notes were left. After all, look at the effort Poobomber went thru for Dr. Zibbs.

enc said...

I can't tell what's the truth and what's lies around here, but here's a question for you:

I'll volunteer for #6—
True
or
False?

Fancy Schmancy said...

I'm hoping #1 is a lie, but #2 is just so fantastically awesome that it cannot be true.

pistols at dawn said...

I think 6 isn't right because no one could ever have an interest in tort law beyond making some lame joke about Austrian pastries.

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