Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Yesterday's ire passed in the night, like most of my bad moods, but the drive behind it did not so I used today's energy to successfully negotiate the release of katrocket's package from the Post Office.  I took possession of said package at approximately 1830 and immediately demolished it to examine its contents.


And oh, what treasure was there!

A SHINY RED BEAVER BELT!

This belt is so rockin' hot that I can't stand it.  Not only does it smell fantastic, like leather does . . . mmmmmm . . . but it fits perfectly.  It has surpassed my necklace made out of ten-penny nails as my favorite accessory, which I wasn't sure could be done.  And according to the note that came with it, I am currently the only woman in the USA to own one.  Read it and weep, suckas.  

(clicky = biggie)

Isn't it precious how she signed the note with a big ball of pubic hair?  I bet it took her a month to collect all that.  I wonder what she kept it in?

Anyway, I was too excited tonight to take any pictures creative enough for the flickr site but you can bet your favorite pelt my mind will busy (as a beaver!) brainstorming the next couple days.  In the meantime, you can keep coming back here to see this one:

Please stop staring at my beaver.

35 comments:

Scope said...

Oh sweet dancing Jesus!

hello haha narf said...

fucking awesome!

i think you need to meet me in kentucky this weekend for the maker's mark mile. everyone wears red. you will fit right in. and there will be bourbon!!

Chemgeek said...

nice beaver!

SkylersDad said...

It simply radiates awesomeness!!

Cowguy said...

*laughs his spleen all the way out on the floor*

Char said...

Bwahaha... "Big ball of pubic hair"
I am sooo jealous.

words words words said...

I love that the people who made this are named "Beever". It's too perfect. This belt is pretty much the awesomest item of clothing ever.

I always dreamed I'd see your beaver, and finally the day, she is here. It's every bit as glorious as I'd hoped.

mo.stoneskin said...

Read it and weep?

I read it. I didn't weep. I did, however, try and think of other 'double entendres' but failed.

katrocket said...

Huzzah! Success!

It looks gorgeous on you (and thanks for not cropping your boobs outta that pic).

Words words words: It might also please you to learn that the Beevers are a married lesbian couple.

Cora said...

Thanks for sharing your beaver with me, Gwen!! *lighting up cigarette*

Some Guy said...

Damn! That is one of the best gifts ever! Katrocket, I salute you.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Fuck me, that is brilliant. I always knew that Katrocket was flippin' awesome, but that goes above and beyond mortal levels of coolness. You both just won everything ever.

Sass said...

I think it's only fitting that you should clean your beaver with a Sham-Wow.

I'm just sayin'.

Little Brr said...

So instead of asking to see your "Walleyes" now, people can inspect your crimson, leathery (soft, yet taught), beaver? Dood? I can't wait to get your beaver out on the town for some action! "Wanna smell my beaver? It smells fantastic! MMMMMM..."

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Bwahahahahaahhaha!

That's one fetching beaver you've got there Gwen!

Oh-the letter that came with it is even better. Kat is hilarious.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I must say, I'm quite jealous, because I think we're all aware how much I love a good-smelling, red beaver.

Miss Alex said...

I can't. It's amazing.

Whiskeymarie said...

I am JEALOUS!

How unfortunate for you that I now know where you live and can come and steal your beaver.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

BeckEye said...

I wish I had a beaver.

Stacie's Madness said...

hhhmmm I would think a flaming red beaver was not a good thing...

but that is totally hot.

Snarky A. said...

Freaking fabulous! I am seriously green with envy.

Imnotbenny said...

And I had no idea when I woke up today that I would be looking at your beaver.

Looks like it's gonna be a sunshine day!

O.G. said...

How long is your list of Beaver comments right now?

C.B. Jones said...

Beaver sighting! 0_0

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm not kidding, the image of a beaver on a belt buckle is hot.

If you're going to a place with a lot of dummies you could always tape two arrows pointing down so they get it.

Sass said...

I had my fingertips lightly caressing that beaver at the zoo today.

And I'm telling you what.

A think of beauty, that thing is.

Yup yup.

Sass said...

Make that..."A thing of beauty," not a "think" of beauty.

I was still very caught up in the moment. And distraught that we didn't get a chance to do the fisting of the beaver...

next time...

Chris said...

I've seen a lot of things in my life, but this is the first strap-on beaver I've ever encountered...

Soda and Candy said...

That thing is frickin' awesome.

I want one!!!

In black please Katrocket!

Fancy Schmancy said...

That is awesome! You rock that beaver, girl!

Jennifer and Sandi said...

WOW that is incredible!!! H O T

- Jennifer

Liz said...

I adore this belt! How freakin' awesome! NICE catch!

If you don't point it out, how long do you think it will take people to notice that you're wearing a beaver belt? I would name that belt Chastity.

Scope said...

I hope you're proud of yourself. Look what you made me go and do.

http://scope-tech.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-didn-want-to-they-made-me.html

Kimberly said...

My my, your beaver sure is fancy.

trixie + beever said...

Hope you're still loving the beaver buckle, Gwen!
Love your post & pictures, and we'll re-read the comments whenever we need a boost for our beavers.
That Katrocket.... Isn't she the best? We're lucky we get to hang out with her in real life too. Yes, she's just as funny, and has the most wicked laugh-scream.
Sending Beever love your way!

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