Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!







BERFDAY, BERFDAY!
It's yer fuckin' berfday!
BERFDAY! BERFDAY!
Sing a goddamn sooooooong!









For those of you new to this corner of Blogaritaville, this is my best girl, H, and today we here at EILCC are celebrating her ability to exit a womb. She writes the currently-on-sabbatical blog "It's Always Darkest Before I Open My Eyes." The poor dear had to endure me singing my patented (not really, but it should be) BERFDAY SONG at the crack of 8:30 this morning, but I was FIRST!


Mmmmmm . . . whiskey with Whiskey.

H, you are one of a kind. You are adorable a doorbell. You are funny and kind and smart and wickedly clever. Your capacity for love is amazingly limitless. I can't imagine a world without you and honestly, I don't want to.

Hey, Glamourpuss! What's your name?

I love you to bits and pieces . . . eentsy tiny bits the size of chip dust at the bottom of a bag. Yeah, that small.


I dedicate this video to you because you take the wheel when I'm seeing double. I know you are reading this at work so honey, I want you to listen to me and do what I say . . . kick off your shoes . . . turn this one up . . . shake out your hair . . . and dance in your chair like no one is watching.

It's your day, screw those morons and dance, girlfriend!

I love you!

18 comments:

H said...

I am sobbing at my desk right now. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!! I love you so much and am the luckiest girl in the world to have you as a friend.

XOXO,
H

Gwen said...

HAHAHA! I made you cry on your birthday!

You are so very welcome, sugar. I feel the exact same way about you. We're made of win and awesomesauce, aren't we?

Sending you big hugs and tiny kisses until we can party like it's 1999 tomorrow night . . .

Whiskeymarie said...

HAPPY BEE-DAY, H!!!!!

I'm sooo excited to see pics from tomorrow night! Is it wrong to hope that you two do shameful things in front of the camera for my entertainment?

I didn't think so either.

WOO!! BIRTHDAY!!!

SkylersDad said...

Those pictures just made me want to meet you all even more. Have a great birthday H!

Soda and Candy said...

Aww, so sweet!

Anonymous said...

I love my friends. Happy b-day again H! I miss you guys greatly and can't wait for our next g-friend night with the two of yous, Beth the plant, Tall Z and her high heels, and our little 'life is good' Amila. Yours fondly and always and back in the Lou on Saturday...
-ttmac

Jerrod said...

I don't know anyone here... but I do like birthdays... and songs... so Happy Birthday H! (I would sing, but I can't mix the F word with berfday quite as eloquently as Gwen can... :) )

Imnotbenny said...

Happy fuckin berfday, H!

You should blare sugar magnolia again and tell anyone in your office who doesn't like it to suck it :)

BeckEye said...

Happy birthday to your friend. And thanks for playing one of the VERY few Dead songs I actually like.

Stacie's Madness said...

great post...happy birthday to H

Valerie said...

aw you a such a good friend!

Happy Birthday H!

Scope said...

Dang a St. L. Birthday, and I'm missing it. Hey, wish H. a happy birthday for me.

Son of a Thomas said...

Thats so nice.

And honestly, I just like seeing pictures of Gwen and her friends.

Suze said...

Happy Birthday! Awesome song and you're an awesome friend. I will celebrate the occasion by getting drunk in my closet. That's about the only place I haven't been drunk yet.

Mr. Condescending said...

St Louis should blast off fireworks for you, happy bday!

Sandy said...

Happy Birthday! Hope you two have a blast!

mo.stoneskin said...

More than anything else I'm impressed by those hats. Phenomenal.

Fancy Schmancy said...

You're such a good friend!

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