Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Dear Former President Bill Clinton:

I haven't been able to locate a blog written by you, or even written on your behalf, but this post wouldn't be funny or possible unless I pretend that there is so please bear with me.

Mr. President, you always seem to do the impossible . . . staying married to a strong and likely difficult woman . . . surviving that whole Monica business (which, I have to admit, disappointed me only because of the way you handled it) . . . and now you've gone and negotiated the pardon and release of two American journalists from the clutches of North Korea. Good on you, sir.

I think all would agree that The Official Blog Award of EILCC now seems tailor-made for you. Even though you don't have a blog where you can display it proudly in the sidebar maybe you could print it out and keep it on your fridge or in your wallet. Either way, consider it yours. You earned it.

Also, in case you were wondering, you are only the second person to receive this award. I think this makes it even more special, no?

Anywhoozle, keep up the good work. I love it when you pop up in the headlines. You are still made of win, awesomesauce, cotton candy and kittens.

Big hugs and tiny kisses,

Gwen

16 comments:

Amanda said...

"You are still made of win, awesomesauce, cotton candy and kittens."

YES!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Just because he gets a lot of pussy doesn't mean he's necessarily made of kittens.

C.B. Jones said...

I'm willing to bet someone elses money that he did it as a favor to Al Gore. Current is Gore's brainchild after all. They both deserve the award in my opinion.

hello haha narf said...

make out with him? all you would do with him is make out? i am SO not buying that one.

hello haha narf said...

hi. i'm back. coz i totally forgot to say that your kim jong illin award fucking rocks. as do you, of course. :)
happy friday!

Valerie said...

that was pretty pimp what he did.

I can't make out with him. He's older than my father and I have a strict policy.

SkylersDad said...

He doesn't have a blog, but I am sure he will rock that award on his dating site profile.

Son of a Thomas said...

Sources close to SOAT say the conversation between Clinton and Kim Jong went like this:

Bill: "So what do you say?"

Kim: "I no see rut you mean."

Bill: "Like I said, whip it out and slap it on the table. The bigger one gets the girls. It's like rock paper sissors man."

Kim: (Lowers eyes) Just take the girls."

LegalMist said...

I hereby nominate Son of a Thomas for "funniest comment."

Between your post and his comment, I'll be laughing until Tuesday!

words...words...words... said...

I'm willing to bet the reporters' release was signed, sealed and delivered before Our First Black President ever boarded the plane. Bill don't do egg on the face. Anymore.

Cora said...

I love Billy too. Why he's so dreamy I can't exactly pinpoint, but, dammit, I don't care! *le sigh*

Soda and Candy said...

Somebody's got a cruuuu-uuuush!

; )

Renaissance Woman said...

Great award! I agree that the made a stupid decision with Monica and even a worse decision when figuring out how to deal with it all...but in the end...still amazing work. Thank you Pres.

Dr Zibbs said...

Gwen loves Hil

LiLu said...

SO MUCH WIN. Forget making out... I'd let him cop some sideboob.

Sandy said...

I am sure he deserved the award! Good ol' Bill!

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