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10/22/2009

A homeless rose by any other name . . .

Posted by Gwen |

Having been graced with an uncommon name that I love (Thanks, Mom!), my interest is always piqued when I meet other Gwens or when I see it mentioned anywhere. So much so that as a senior in college I once terrorized a freshman girl named Gwen in an effort to convince her that she should use her middle name. I think my position was something like, "When people say 'Gwen' around here, I know they are talking about me and I don't want there to be any confusion." Yeah, I was a peach in college.


Anyway, you can imagine my surprise when one of my friends brought it to my attention this morning that American Girl has a new doll named Gwen. And she's homeless. Apparently, Miss Gwen's daddy lost his job and left his family thereby forcing Miss Gwen and her mama to live in their car for a while.

Now I should probably be upset that American Girl is selling a HOMELESS doll for $95. (Ooooh, the irony!) Or that they are sending terrible messages about daddies and men in general. But I'm not. I'm upset that she has my name.

I wonder what her middle name is and whether or not Miss Gwen and her mama have a phone now.

28 comments:

H said...

Oh seriously that is TOO FUNNY! I know what a special little lady is getting for Christmas this year.
;-)

Mighty Hunter said...

I shared my first name with my choir director in college. And by "shared," I really mean, "resented and hated him for having."

Seriously. My first name, dude? NO ONE HAS MY FIRST NAME EXCEPT MY DAD AND REALLY IT'S HIS MIDDLE NAME SO IT DOESN'T COUNT.

Sorry. What were we talking about?

Soda and Candy said...

Gwenny Gwen! I'm so happy you're back!

I think that doll sounds tacky as hell, especially given she costs A HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!

I mean WTF? why wouldn't you just get a cheaper doll and give the rest of the money to actual homeless people?

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm kind of the same. Whenever I'm driving and I pass another Dr Zibbs we always honk and wave. I know - it's nerdy but whatever.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I wonder if the rags she uses to wrap her feet will be as expensive as the ballerina flats my daughter's doll is getting for Christmas...

Elliott said...

I've only ever met one other person with my name. I understand it's become popular now, but since I hit that tender ridicule-enhancing age when E.T. came out, it sucked.

So glad my daughters weren't doll people. Of course, we have purchased a small country's GNP worth of Build-a-Bears over the years. It evens out.

mo.stoneskin said...

I've named all my dolls, teddies, action figures and hamsters 'Gwen'. It makes the morning roll call a bit tricky.

Nanodance said...

You're back!

And I hope that they donate some of that $95.00 to the homeless.

Lola Lakely said...

This is both disturbing and hilarious. I mean as a little girl I always dreamed of a homeless doll to take care of and by homeless doll I mean Star Wars Action figure.

I missed the whole doll thing. Hizzah for you being back though my one and only Gwen!

Gwen said...

Nanodance: You'd think, right? Yeah, notsomuch. While they defend their decision to release this doll by arguing it raises awareness they are NOT donating any money to help the actual homeless. In fact, their defense of this doll centers around bullying since Gwen is a friend of Chrissa, their 2009 Doll of the Year. Chrissa's platform is bullying. Go figure. /soapbox

Hunter said...

Well, this is awkward. All of my illegitmate homeless children are named Gwen...

Nice to see you back.

Sally-Sal said...

I love the fact that your email is guenosdias. Fucking love it.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Awareness my ass.

If you're going to have a homeless doll why not go all out and create a Chilren's Social Services series:
Starving Stacy
Neglected Nadine
Bruised Betty
Truant Tracy
Meth Lab Michelle

They could sell you accessories to go with your doll like a little 40oz beer in a paper sack or a little wallet with food stamps in it.

John Reichert said...

Well the grass is always greener Gwendolyn. Any Mulva will tell you it's better than a name that alludes to a body part. Or, you could be named John and deal with bathroom, hooker patron, and break up letter allusions all the live long day... And then there are the Richards of the world...

(Dad named be John so I'd be called Jack.. But then never called me Jack himself... hours of therapy to be had dissecting that one...)

Jack

Eva Gallant said...

a $95 homeless doll...how gross and inappropriate! I don't blame you for being upset that her name is Gwen!

Whiskeymarie said...

I've got a basement full of Whiskeymaries that refused to change their name.

Um...you're not going to alert the authorities, are you? Whiskeymarie#3 does such a good job with my laundry...

words...words...words... said...

I've never had to experience running into anyone that had my name. But that's because I have a stupid girl's name. Grrrr. THANKS, MOM AND DAD.

Son of a Thomas said...

I laughed with beer in my mouth, gagged, spit it thru my nose and on the computer keyboard and desk.

Glad to see you!!!

mut_nugget said...

ARE YOU SERIOUS???

They actually have a homeless doll? For a hundred dollars?

wait wait wait...A homeless doll...WITH A BACKSTORY?

Unbe-f-ing-lievable.

Cowguy said...

A homeless doll? For 95 bones? NAMED GWEN????

I'm suicidal now.

I was blessed with an unusual name (for my age group) too. Then when it became fashionable for all the 80's mommies to name their boy child after me... I figured "Oh great, paternity suits galore".

I'm out of things to say now Gwen.

J.

Char said...

Now that is just too tacky!

Renaissance Woman said...

That is funny and wrong all at the same time. And I'm sure we can come up with a nickname for this "Gwen" that would be a much better name to describe her sad situation... Or maybe when enough people dish out the $95 her name will be changed to something more like...Heidi?

ttmac said...

$95.00? Homeful Gwen, you are worth so much more!

Homeless Haley would have been way more appropriate. For 37 cents, some pocket lint, and your leftover steak from Harrahs, you too could own Homeless Haley and provide the love and shelter she has been so longing for.

Cora said...

Y'know, I have a daughter named Gwen. Her Daddy wiped out the bank account and ran out on us leaving us with nothing and we lost our home too.

So, naturally, I think this is the WORST doll EVER! I would NEVER get this for my kid! Oh. My. God.

Jay Ferris said...

I went to that college, and every time I mentioned Gwen I was actually referring to Gwen Stefani. Sorry.

Jules said...

I cannot wait to see what AG dreams up for Gwen's accessories. "Buy the blanket donated by Chrissa, 'girl of the year,' and receive a pair of mismatched gloves for free!"
Surely there's a better way for AG to teach about the homeless.

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