Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

So, I'm sick. AGAIN. I sound like Kathleen Turner on the back-end of a 10-day bender and it feels like fire ants are living in the left side of my face. It's not a good feeling. It makes my eyes water which leads people to believe that I have feelings and shit.

My doctor says it's a sinus infection and that it likely started three weeks ago when I thought I had the flu. This is ridiculous. I want off the ride. Outside your undying adoration, vintage clothing and milk chocolate, I make very few requests so I don't think adding NO MORE FIRE ANTS IN MY FACE to the list is asking too much. Please and thank you.

I had other things to blog about - Homecoming weekend and my new cowboy boots quickly come to mind - but for now I'm going back to the 5'3" body-shaped indentation on my couch.

28 comments:

Suze said...

Feel better tiny, tiny person.

Imnotbenny said...

Poor Gwen-dacious. :(

You need to get better soon so I can get my text buddy back.

See how I went and took something that was about you and then turned it around so it was about ME?

That was pretty sweet.

Gwen said...

NotBenny: Couldn't have done it better myself. Me. Myself.

(See what I did there? Don't try and steal MY thunder, bitch.)

SkylersDad said...

I'm with Suze, holy shit! Were in the Wizard of Oz?

Because that is just what you need when you are sick. A lot of crap from me.

WM said...

Ugh... of all the sucktastic things.


And for the record you are 1 inch taller then me.

I didn't think there were too many of us short people around anymore.

Feel better

Mathdude said...

I think I have H2N2, the sequel to H1N1. And every class I teach reminds me of a TB ward. Ugh!

mo.stoneskin said...

I'm currently on a one man mission to find some cowboy boots and a six-shooter in order to destroy the sinus devil.

Dr Zibbs said...

Hope you're feeling better me lady.

Scope said...

I know the 2 things you need right now:

1) Superballs.
2) More cowbell.

And all will be right in the world.

C.B. Jones said...

If I knew where the outbreak monkey was, I'd put on a hazmat suit and choke him to death.


....Heh, choking the monkey.

Cora said...

Damn. Scope beat me to it. I was gonna offer to send you some of the superballs he snuck in my purse in the bar, but *sniffle* now it would just be pointless.

Feel better, sexy mama. Don't make me come over there and honk your boobs.

Son of a Thomas said...

I was feeling sorry for you until you mentioned the boots because if you know me;

Gwen + Boots = Nigalicious.

Cowguy said...

Oh jeez... why didn't you just say something? Guaranteed fix.

1. Old grody t-shirt, preferably with an 80's hair band on the front. Bonus points if it's Quiet Riot.

2. A Zagnut bar. 2 if you're REALLY sick.

3. An enema.

Call me in the morning and let me know how it works out Gwen!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Poor lamb! If I lived closer I'd make you some powdered (oh all right - Mrs. Grass - I didn't want to name names but no other brand will do) noodle soup with extra noodles. When I'm sick with a cold I almost want to flush my sinuses with it it's so good and all you have to be able to do is stand up long enough to boil some water.

Wedge yourself back into your tiny couch nook and feel better soon.

Eva Gallant said...

Wishing your well!

Soda and Candy said...

Poor, teeny-tiny Gwen. Um, at least it's not the heinie flu?

: )

*non-contact germsafe hugs*

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Don't forget: when they clean the surfaces in hospitals, they use a tincture of alcohol and water.

This is to kill bacteria and viruses.

Do with that information what you will...

Nanodance said...

Awwww. Feel better soon. Sinus infections are awful. I feel really sorry for you. I hope that helps.

Elliott said...

To heck with the water, alcohol with alcohol. I find Jagermeister is much less expensive than NyQuil, and it has a higher proof.

Take care of that, sinus infections suck.

Char said...

Sorry you are sick. I know how bad that can hurt. Have some chicken soup and get well.

xoxo

words...words...words... said...

I've had sinus infections, they suck. Just do your best Titanic pose on the couch and get better soon :)

katrocket said...

OH NOES! Get well soon! xo

The Peach Tart said...

Sinus infections suck. Get well soon.

Chaka said...

I'm sorry to hear you are sick. I just got over being sick so I know how miserable it is. I hope you have a quick recovery and find a good way to cope with it until you are feeling better.

Whiskeymarie said...

I'm no dock-tor, but I read somewhere that "sinus infections" are actually your brain slowly seeping out of your nostrils.

Please don't get stupider- I need you to take care of me when my brain is long gone.

Gwen said...

Whiskeymarie: If you're counting on me to be the brains of this operation in our aged years, we're in deep shit. Maybe Whiskeymarie #23 - you know, the youngest one? - can take care of us.

BeckEye said...

Yuck. Hope you feel better soon. I'm currently trying to stave off some evil force that is attempting to take over my throat. I can't be sick...Halloween is this Saturday! And I actually have a costume!

Renaissance Woman said...

I do feel bad for you! Hope you get better soon. And WOW...you are a small person.

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