Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Well, hi! Gosh, it's been a while. Have you lost weight? Changed your hair? No? Well, whatever it is you're doing, it looks good on you. Rowr.


What's that? How have I been? Meh. I'm having expensive car troubles again. It's possible this is the time I should have sent the old girl to The Great Junkyard In The Sky (guarded by Old Yeller and Lassie, BTW) but by the time we figured out the second half of the problem was INSIDE the transmission (*cha-ching!*), I was in too deep. Blahblahblahwhatever.

I had been without a car for about four days when I remembered a friend once mentioned he has an old truck he would loan me when I need to haul garden supplies. I called him up on Sunday and within an hour he was at my doorstep with the keys, which were handed over with a chuckle. It wasn't until I was trying to maneuver out of a parallel park that I realized Lil Truck (yes, I've named it) doesn't have power steering and that my friend was full-on laughing at me. I've gotten the hang of it - I park very far away from stationary objects - and have discovered that my briefcase can double as a drink holder. Sweet.

In other news . . .

WHISKEYMARIE VON PARTYPANTS AND I WILL BE REUNITED IN DOWNTOWN CHICAGO IN TWO DAYS!
At the annual Chicagoland Gang Christmas Night Out!
She's gonna meet all my other stupid friends!
Awwww, yeah, bitches.

I hope she remembers to pack extra underwear.

20 comments:

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

Thats basically the best picture ever.

SkylersDad said...

You know you have to get a ball cap with CAT on it and take a picture of yourself in the truck!

It's the least you can do for us.

McGone said...

Good post, but it really needs more swearing if you hope to hold onto that shiny new fucking title of yours, Gwen.

Next time I want it to read like a truck driver's erotic road journal.

Eva Gallant said...

Hope yor tranny gets fixed--is that your tranny friend in the photo? lol

Cowguy said...

Rip the sleeves offa that flannel shirt and take a dip of Copenhagen... you gotta truck!

C'mon up, we'll go turkey huntin!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Ok, this trip is not to be missed.
Dem bitches is crayzeee!!!

Scope said...

You'll be here in HOW MANY DAYS?

"Hey! Liver! Yeah you! Looks like you'll be putting in a little O.T. this weekend!"

mo.stoneskin said...

I had always assumed you were a "no power steering" kinda girl. How wrong I was...

hello haha narf said...

wow, what a photo!

love pick em ups. but i am SO spoiled by power steering.

i'm only totally jealous of your chicago adventure. take lots of photos for us, k?

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Wow, Loni Anderson's really let herself go.

Dr Zibbs said...

You're gonna have a blast. Don't forget to drunk call my Snapvine recorder.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

No, I've actually put weight on. Thanks for lying to me and telling me I look good, though.

Stacie's Madness said...

hahah that picture is hilarious...have a great time in chicago...

bummer 'bout your car, but think of the arm workout you're getting with the truck

BeckEye said...

Tranny tranny, blah blah blah...you didn't even mention your amazing come-from-behind victory in the Drysdales!

Whiskeymarie said...

FUCK YEAH!!! (Just trying to give you a jump on next year's Drysdales)

But seriously- Fuck. Yeah.
TWO DAYS!!!!
(My liver is doing pushups in anticipation)

Soda and Candy said...

Hahaha, BeckEye said "come-from-behind".

Ahem.

WendyB said...

I bet you bitches will have a fuck of a good time.

Imnotbenny said...

You know I can't un-see that, right?

Cora said...

I'm so jealous I could just spit.

Or shit.

Whatever.

*pout and a half*

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

way to rich in content not to make a comment...! :-)

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