In an abundance of caution and fear, I've held off announcing my recent come-from-behind victory over the hugely talented and revered Wendy Brandes in the Most Swears category of the The 2009 Drysdale Awards. I mean, come on! She’s beautiful, she runs in circles so far outside my wheelhouse that I can’t even imagine the fabulosity; she’s huge and hordes of people fucking love her.
So yeah, I’ve been traveling incognito since Monday - driving a hoopdie and wearing a trench coat, a big, floppy hat and dark sunglasses - in an effort to evade her adoring fans and the rotten tomatoes (or rocks) I expect they would throw at my tiny head if they could catch me. Suckas!
But the time has come to thank MY adoring fans and friends and family for their ballot-stuffing support and to toot my own damn horn. You guys rock! We did it! David felled Goliath!
It was a really fun campaign - y'all were so into it! People were texting updates, other people were emailing for status and cheering me on. Like a true politician, I drunk g-chatted with some of you. It was exciting. Thank you for all of it. My favorite response to the call for votes was from my dad, who said "Go you girl! Or maybe if it still counts: Damn, Go you Girl! We voted. As you can see we are always there when really really important stuff happens." Awesomesauce.
I also won the award for Worst Spelling and Grammar. I'm not sure I get that one . . . but WHO THE FUCK CARES? I WON SWEARS! I WON SWEARS! With that, I think it's high time we started doin' some tootin', monkeys!
24 comments:
Between that last picture and the toilet tranny from yesterday, I can't even imagine what your browser's history log looks like.
Ohhhhh, here's a big ol' effing congrats to you, Ms Gwennie!!
Rock. On.
I find it amusing that my wv is "defoo." Don't you? It's like your blog has gone all Mr T on me ~ "I pity de foo." I suppose that means Wendy? *snicker*
Congrats my dear, the only thing that would make your victory more complete is if the mostly naked, dancing, midget elf's ears were actually pointed.
Hey Cora, speaking of word ver's, mine is bonest!!
He he hehe (snort)
Wow, did I really just snort?
This post totally blows.
OK not really, but someone was gonna make that joke and I got here first.
CONGRADUALTIONS you fucking cocksucker!
And you did it without "Swear Week"? You rock on with your socks on!
Speaking of which: TOMORROW!!!!
Congrats, you totally fucking deserve it! The swearing thing, not the worst spelling and grammer. Zibbsy should have won that hands down.
Yeah, poor Zibbs suffered some collateral damage in the campaign. If it means anything, I went back and switched all my votes in that category to him.
Congrats and... I just snorted. :-)
My word verification... commy. LOL
Congrats, you thieving cunt!
I'm saving my own tooting in your honor for tomorrow night, when we're sleeping together & spooning.
WendyB called you a cunt? I'm jealous- that's a real honor round these here parts.
Toot!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Also, I love the fat kid eating the tuba.
I was excited for you until I got to that last picture and now I'm just queasy and scared.
Woo Hoo!
congrats - I'm way into that celebrating rabbi.
It's a good thing it wasn't a taken-from-behind victory because tooting is not appreciated in that situation. Congrats to you either way Cunt! (with a capital C 'cause I respect you that much)
More from my dad:
"An excerpt from my imaginary annual Xmas family letter:
The solemnity of this particular holiday season bore unanticipated fruits. As a result of a recent contest, now I can boast that I have a daughter who won a shiny gold Kentucky Derby trophy (regifted?) for having a trash mouth and being brazen enough about it to proclaim the victory in print. This hard working yet poorly spelling cursor (curstrix? cursette?) embarked on a campaign of swearing - and inducing others to follow suit - that would be the envy of any poll worshipping political aspirant. Hope you all had a damn nice holiday too!
Really though - Happy Holidays from both of us - we are sooo proud."
Hahaha! I am really enjoying seeing a side of my dad I didn't know was there. Ha!
You are a winner.
Could you imagine if I accidently wrote weiner?
This post made me so very horny.
Surprise, surprise. Another post where people are putting large instruments into their mouths.
Katrocket stole my third zinger.
I have been singing, dancing and trumpeting since I heard you won.
Trumpeting, that's right, trumpeting.
Congrats... This post made me laugh out loud! Good for you girl.
Congratulations! No motherfucker deserves this more than you, you funny fucker.
Also, that little girl blowing on the horn is making me uncomfortable.
Gwen - Got a little award for you over at my place today.
And my word ver is "chicki" that's like awesome covered in carmel.
ummm these pictures, im fucking dying. lol
Congrats! I can't think of anyone who deserves to win these awards more than you...
And I mean that in the best possible way.
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