Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

My attorney teammate and I have been hosting/broadcasting a web seminar for our clients every week for the past two months. We hold classes on Thursday mornings. My job has been to coordinate all the attendees, to attend and monitor the broadcast to make sure the slides are working and visible, and to let the next speaker know when it's almost time for their presentation.

Each week as I attend I put my phone on mute so that the other attendees can't hear me clicking away at my keyboard or talking or whatever. It was uncomfortably silent at the end of the first presentation last week when the speaker (my BFF) asked for questions so I picked up my handset, went live, and got everybody talking for her. And then I hung up my handset, proud that I had helped my friend out of a sticky spot.



So then I was sitting here at my desk, being all comfortable in my own space when I belched, loud. I followed it with a tiny "'Scuse me!" because I think that's cute. And then I looked up and saw that I HAD FORGOTTEN TO RE-MUTE MY PHONE. Before I could even think I exclaimed, "OMG! I'm not muted!" And then you could hear my friend giggling.

Yes, you heard me: I belched over the phone in front of almost all of our west coast clients.


Thankfully, everyone in the conference room on our end thought it was hilarious and none of the clients seemed to notice. BUT STILL! I was so ashamed and embarrassed. It took half an hour for my face to return to its usual shade. It was an hour before I could laugh. It will be years before I live it down.

20 comments:

Elliott said...

Look at the bright side. At least you didn't comment on the nuance of flavors, the delicate afternote of Dr Pepper and the bouquet of your Sausage McGriddle.

We hope.

Chemgeek said...

EPIC!!!

Hunter said...

Ruh-roh!

SkylersDad said...

My co-worker had a mute button failure one time as he proceeded to throw an engineer under the bus, cast doubt upon his parentage, and then burp. That is the complete package!

hello haha narf said...

and this, my friend, is what we call priceless.
also, it is something i have done before. thanks for sharing the story!

BeckEye said...

I've heard that West Coast people actually think it's an insult if you DON'T burp while you're talking to them. Or after a meal. Or something.

Soda and Candy said...

Skydad's comment FTW!

It's so unfortunate that you can't do as I do and write off your character flaws as cultural differences!

Also, w/v: tryst - I think your blog is hitting on me!

MJenks said...

While I appreciate this, I think maybe a squeaker fart followed up by "Gotdam! When did I eat burning tires?" would have been, perhaps, even more funny.

All unmuted, of course.

words...words...words... said...

Next time you have to raise it to a fart, Colonel.

Eva Gallant said...

It could have been worse; that gas could have loudly exited the back door!

Wynn said...

Haha awesome.

mo.stoneskin said...

Nice work, you've furthered the holy cause of Belching With An Audience. I'm planning to hijack the mike from the Queen when she announces the new Prime Minister and belch down that. I just hope I don't get stage fright.

Son of a Thomas said...

O.K. I'll admit it. I'm in love now.

Living Shallow, Living Well said...

I am real careful about keeping my conference calls on mute for this exact reason.

Scope said...

Keep it classy, Gwennie.

Keep it classy.

Cora said...

I once burped so loud I startled two sleeping dogs and made a baby cry. I then laughed until I couldn't breathe.... WHILE THE BABY CRIED.

Not one of my better nannying moments, true.

otherworldlyone said...

Better out than in, my daddy always said. That was mostly for farts, but I guess this counts too.

On a sidenote, working with your BFF must be awesome.

Some Guy said...

Nicely done, Gwen! Love it!

J.J. said...

A cousin has a weekly conference call for work and tells me about her "adventures in peeing" so they don't hear her.

Now I bet they do, and just haven't said anything.

Mermanda said...

do you have something against the term "webinar"? say it with me, "webinar." doesn't that feel good?

buuuuurp

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