Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Here it is, The First Official Contest Post.

The title of this post, Here's a little ghost for the offering, is a line from a song. To enter the contest, post the name of the song and the recording artist in the comments. Be sure to leave an identity and use the same one through the rest of the contest.

Each weekly contest ends at 11:59 pm CST on Saturday. I don't recommend waiting until the end of the week to post your answers. You run the risk of someone else having already posted theirs before you. In the case of a tie - more than one person gets all seven of the week's answers right - the winner will be the person who responded first. Now, let's get this party started.

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Elvis has allegedly been dead since 1977 and yet still has the power to make normal, functioning people unbalance a bit. They cry, they celebrate his birth, they celebrate his death, they eat fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, they tour his home with religious fervor, they buy his daughter's albums, and they believe he is still alive.

I don't presume to judge these people. They could be right. Bill Beeny believes. And spent the past 17 years trying to prove it. His evidence, detailed in the book "Elvis' DNA Proves He's Alive", is founded by test results which compare DNA taken from Elvis prior to his alleged death with DNA taken from the body in Elvis' casket. They do not match. I know - spooky.

Mr. Beeny also spent the past 17 years running his "Elvis is Alive" museum in Wright City, MO. Described as a "kitschy roadside treasure", the museum's signage includes a 16-foot wooden statue of Elvis in his trademark white jumpsuit.

Sadly, Mr. Beeny has had enough of the museum business and recently put the museum on eBay:

Beeny, an evangelist who has preached on radio and television and run missions in the St. Louis area for years, is trading his passion for the King to help the poor, hungry and those addicted to drugs.

"I've enjoyed it, and it does tear out a little piece of my heart to close it down," Beeny said. "I feel I should do something more important."

Items included in the auction?

  • A 1974 Cadillac limosine like the one Elvis rode in,
  • Legal ownership and rights to the DNA test which compared Elvis' body tissue from two biopsies,
  • A real casket with an manequin dressed similar to Elvis, and
  • 600 pages from FBI files which document the fact that Elvis worked with the FBI and DEA.


The bid has been stuck at $7,300 since Friday. Mr. Beeny won't reveal the amount of his reserve, but it hasn't been met yet. There are 4 days left. I'm going to keep an eye on the bidding until it closes. I'll post a short note when I know the final bid.

I never visited the museum. I wish I had. I wish I had met Bill Beeny. I know Cousin T, Holly and Kel went once. I don't remember the specific story of their Elvis jihad, but I think one of them cried . . . or was it that one of them got in trouble? Probably both.

T: want to guest post and tell it? I do remember it's a good one.


LM said...

Man on the Moon. REM

Erica said...

R.E.M. - The Great Beyond

lotus07 said...

If I were Elvis, I would pretend to be dead......there wouldn't be much pleasure if being an overweight, washed up Elvis in this day and age, best to go for anonimity.

The song is R.E.M. "Man in the Moon" (not that I ever win anything).

Lori W said...

REM "Man on the Moon".
(I knew this - really I did - even without seeing everyone else's answers!)

howmidugan said...

Oh man, that was a legendary day for the three of us, but I'm not sure if I can remember the story well enough now to tell it. I wrote about it one one of my Christmas newsletters once. If I can find the story, and it doesn't sound stupid, we can guest post it. But, I wrote it a full 13 years ago... the idiot factor on it will be pretty high, I'm guessing.

howmidugan said...

Oh, yeah... and Holly laughed so hard she cried, so actually it was both. AND we were laughing so hard through the whole thing - we didn't get in trouble, but we were really afraid that we would offend the owners because they obviously took it so seriously. At least I don't think we got in trouble. We might have.