Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!


Sheesh. Why do you keep coming back here?

Posted by Gwen |

I mean, really . . . I just looked back over my last few posts and it seems I've had poopy drawers for a while. Three of my last four posts are tedious rants about the craptastic weather. Good Lord - who the eff cares? There's no reason for you to still be here, but I'm glad you are. Does this mean we're friends?


::punches you in the shoulder::

Well, friend, I apologize for the darkness. As penance for posting that depressing drivel, I wrote the following List Of Four Things I Am Currently Enjoying The Crap Out Of, so you'll know I don't have any (crap) in my pants.

List Of Four Things I Am Currently Enjoying The Crap Out Of

  1. The Dead Milkmen. A recent exposure to Jackass 2 and it's soundtrack reunited me with my love of Punk Rock Music. While cruising iTunes after seeing the movie, looking for a couple songs from the soundtrack, I ran across a mention of The Dead Kennedys. Which made me remember The Dead Milkmen. The first song I ever heard of theirs was "Bitchin' Camaro" - some friend of Cousin T's gave her a mix tape with that song on it and I was immediately enthralled with their angst and humor. Plus they rock. I'm shocked that I still know the words to most of the songs on Eat Your Paisley, their sophomore effort and easily my favorite. You can't deny the draw of lyrics like, "Got a skateboard "gnarly rad" / With money from you mom and dad / Take a bath cause you smell bad / Why are you a moron?" I also picked up some Camper Van Beethoven and Josie Cotton's "Johnny Are You Queer?" Awwwww, punk, thanks for being back in my head; it's a kick.

  2. The expectation of a good drunk. I've cleared my schedule for a handful or 12 adult beverages on Friday afternoon following our work holiday luncheon. I haven't been out on the town in many weeks and it is time, time to let my hair down. If you need proof of how much fun this annual gathering is, I'll tell you that last year Lil BRR suffered a nicotine overdose. Poor thing had quit smoking six months prior to the party, but was having a really hard time with it while sitting next Chimneys 1 and 2 (Pattie and I) so Pattie pulled a nicotine patch out of her purse and slapped it on her. It isn't a big surprise that she passed out with it still on given that our bar bill was $150. No, the big surprise was how sick she was the next day. She called me at about 9 am, close to tears, trying desperately to convey how sick she was. She's since gone back to cigarettes.

  3. Flannel sheets. When I changed the beds this weekend I put the flannels on. It's like sleeping on a cloud.

  4. Chocolate and Peanut Butter Chip Cookie Dough. I whipped up a batch of chocolate and peanut butter chip cookie dough on Sunday, and much of the cookie dough is gone, but I have yet to bake anything. Raw cookie dough is the best thing in the world. I take that back - being an adult who can make her own decisions and deciding to eat raw cookie dough for breakfast is the best.

See? Happy. Although next time it seems like I'm in a funk do me a favor . . . throw some punk on the turntable and turn it up . . . feed me chocolate and alcohol until I pass out . . . or puke . . . or pass out AND puke . . . and then wrap me in flannel. I guarantee I'll wake up with my attitude adjusted.

Love you!


howmidugan said...

Don't sap out on us, dude - give us the poopy-pants, complaining stuff! That shit is priceless!

Mariposa said...

Hahaha, yes we're friends! ;)

And you can rant to us anytime...but nothing beats the effort of counting the good stuff.

amy & jeff said...

don't apologize for the poop. we love the poop and the happy. don't change.