Everything I Like Causes Cancer

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Apparently I’m living in Monopoly

Posted by Gwen |

In yesterday's mail was a $30 check from a class action settlement that I never even knew was filed. Or existed. But hey, who am I to question the gods of surprise money? Mama didn’t raise a fool. (A disturbed person according to her, but not a fool.)

BUT. (There’s always a big but in a story that starts with free money, isn’t there?)

BUT, I also received a photo enforced ticket.

It all started when I opened the check. Once I realized there was no catch if I cashed it, I was all, “Yay for me! Surprise money! Yay!”

And then I saw into the clear window of the next envelope: “Photo Enforcement Program.” I immediately knew it was a ticket. I'm an aggresive driver that may or may not push yellow lights and/or roll stop signs. (I haven't admitted anything, leave me alone.) Needless to say, my jubilance was dampened. Boo!

Being a "glass is half-full" kind of gal, though, I realized there was still a chance that my fine would be equal to or, one could hope, even less than my oh-so-very-recent windfall.

The moment I read that the fine is $100 was the moment I realized that I must be living inside the game of Monopoly: one minute I'm collecting $50 from every player and the next I'm forced to pay
a $750 school tax, and I don't even have kids.

Where’s that damn Pennybags when you need him?


McGone said...

And does this make you a "glass is 3/10ths full" girl now?

LM said...

$100 bucks? What are they saying you did, for christ's sake? I'd fight it. From what I hear, everyone's fighting those photo tickets because there's no way they can prove 100% that you are the one driving the car. Or, just give it to Counselor T.R. Cook, Esq. and have him take care of it. I'd rather a lawyer get the money than the damn po po.

Whiskeymarie said...

Here in MN they spent a FORTUNE installing those things, only to have them declared illegal by the state Supreme Court only a few months later.

Us: 1
"The man": 0

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I'm feeling a little afraid now as I too am an "aggressive driver", although I like to say that I drive "briskly". I had no idea there were such things as Photo Enforced tickets.


hello haha narf said...

son of a bitch! that was so not cool. i'm in the "fight the ticket" club. go git em, gwen!

othurme said...

I say just wait for the get out jail free card to happen along.