Everything I Like Causes Cancer

In yesterday's mail was a $30 check from a class action settlement that I never even knew was filed. Or existed. But hey, who am I to question the gods of surprise money? Mama didn’t raise a fool. (A disturbed person according to her, but not a fool.)

BUT. (There’s always a big but in a story that starts with free money, isn’t there?)

BUT, I also received a photo enforced ticket.

It all started when I opened the check. Once I realized there was no catch if I cashed it, I was all, “Yay for me! Surprise money! Yay!”

And then I saw into the clear window of the next envelope: “Photo Enforcement Program.” I immediately knew it was a ticket. I'm an aggresive driver that may or may not push yellow lights and/or roll stop signs. (I haven't admitted anything, leave me alone.) Needless to say, my jubilance was dampened. Boo!

Being a "glass is half-full" kind of gal, though, I realized there was still a chance that my fine would be equal to or, one could hope, even less than my oh-so-very-recent windfall.

The moment I read that the fine is $100 was the moment I realized that I must be living inside the game of Monopoly: one minute I'm collecting $50 from every player and the next I'm forced to pay a $750 school tax, and I don't even have kids.

Where’s that damn Pennybags when you need him?