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Schooling McGone

Posted by Gwen |

McGone, of International House of Blogcakes fame, maybe better known as Fernando's owner/dad/keeper/pimp/whatever, is moving this week and each day he has posted about the crap he's discovering he still owns. Today he posted a picture of his so-called junk drawer and labeled its contents.

I completely agree with enc who called him out in the comments to this post by saying, "I have to take issue with your pristine junk drawer, McGone. I think it's a hoax, fabricated to get you through an "I'm-out-of-post-ideas" drought. It's way too clean and organized."

I, too, woke up today wondering what in the Sam Hill I was going to write about so I decided to show him how it's done. Understand that all I did for this picture was open my top desk drawer and snap the shot.

First and foremost, you should not be able to see the bottom of any true junk drawer. Also, it should contain things you consider a "discovery" when you find them, you know, things you forgot you even owned. Like glue sticks and pirated movies, fuzzy bunny Pez dispensers and voodoo doll magnets. (Don't eff with me, I'll poke a needle in it.)

You should also find really outdated things like grocery receipts from June 28, 2006 and your tax exempt card for work that you needed two months ago when you traveled to San Francisco. You should find weird things like a single blue marble, tampons, wine corks, and the lid to a small jar of diced pimentos.

So see, McGone, this is a junk drawer. Thanks for having a lame one so I had something to talk about today.

A side note to McGone: I am really enjoying Up In Honey's Room. I will give his other books a try and you should read this one. I also forgot to tell you that as my birthday present to myself I bought all five seasons of The Kids In The Hall on DVD. My home is open to you for a marathon anytime.


Little Brr said...

You know, that voodoo magnet looks familiar. I can't recall, who gave that to you? I bet the person that gave that to you spent 10 whole minutes picking that out just for you when she could have resumed bar hopping and being wasted on BOURBON STREET. 10 whole minutes! That's at least one bar stop and a beer. 10 minutes!
Moving on. Please don't stick the pins in it now. I'm positive that person still thinks you rock. You're so pretty... Look... something shiny!

Gwen said...

Little BRR: I suspected I'd get some flak for it being in a drawer but while it took you 10 minutes to pick it out it only took Skylar 2 to figure out he could get his grimy paws on it by climbing to the top of the fridge and knocking it to the floor. I love it so much that I put it in the drawer for safekeeping.

What? Something shiny? Where?

Little Brr said...

Well then, it's okay to leave him in the darkness of your junk drawer. I wouldn't want your kitty getting a hold of the pins in that freaky, hideous thing.
I was thinking that I might have put him in a drawer as well b/c if I came home late one night/morning after way too many adult beverages and saw it, dangling there like a little mummy I might get a tiny bit fah-reaked out. So, it's cool.

McGone said...

To be fair, my junk drawer was jam packed and I cleared away a lot of the riffraff for the sake of the picture. I didn't mention the 3 chapstick tubes and various bottle openers and random condiments and remotes to TVs long since thrown away and the like. But yes, you win. You have junk in your... drawer.

And I'm very glad you are enjoying the Elmore Leonard. I will gladly give you some further recommendations when you are through your pile of books.

pistols at dawn said...

You can afford something with a drawer? I just throw crap all over the floor.

Jeff from Kimchi central said...

You suck, I just clicked on the link to see McGone's junk (or lack thereof) drawer and got Rick Rolled.

Nice job, keep up the good work!


Gwen said...

McGone: I even have the implied junk in my . . . trunk.

Pistols: I can afford pimentos and tampons, too.

Jeff: HA!!! I finally got someone! HA, again!

Renaissance Woman said...

The lost lid to the diced pimentos...I was wondering where that went to...please send back!

josh pincus is crying said...

i don't see any disney memorabilia in there.....