Everything I Like Causes Cancer

I apologize for interrupting the question and answer session yesterday but I really wanted to put the Chuy story up for Brian while it was still fresh in my mind. My short term memory just isn't what it used to be. Someone once told me that alcohol kills brain cells but I find that hard to believe. I'm going to need proof before I buy into . . .

. . . sorry, what was I saying?

Oh! Yeah. The questions. This next question comes from Renaissance Woman, a sweetie in Denver who's courageously remodeling her bathroom and mending a broken heart. RW asks,

What is the number one thing on your list of things that you do that make you happy?

This one was tough and I had to think about it for a long time. The truth is that I’m happy doing almost anything and endeavor to find the potential for fun in the things I'm not.

I love to travel and read and watch movies. I get intense satisfaction from gardening and yelling obscenities at crappy drivers. I hate working and cleaning, they both suck ass, but the sense of accomplishment at the end of a job well done is intoxicating. Speaking of intoxicating, I like drinking.

I love the sun so much that I'm certain I was a High Priestess in the Temple of Ra in a former life. Music is such a part of my life that I've longingly dreamed of a device that would follow me around, playing the soundtrack to my life, since I was a tiny girl. The iPod is close, but the rest of the world should be able to hear my awesome soundtrack, too. I like to share.

But all of these things, traveling and reading and watching movies, basking in the sun and enjoying music, all of them are more fun when done with other human beings whose company you enjoy. Spending time with my people is number one on my list of things that make me happy.

This next question is from new reader Bob Stein who writes the VisiBone ProtoBlog. Bob asks,

What are some things you like that do not (so much) cause cancer?

This is a really good question, Bob. I named this blog "Everything I Like Causes Cancer" as a tongue-in-cheek reference to the massive number of things that cause cancer and how the list mutates faster than damaged cells. It's also a self-deprecating way of disclosing my lack of interest or ability in giving up the sun and cigarettes.

To answer your question, though, I'm going to be lazy and refer you to my response to Renaissance Woman's question above. Those are the things I love that don't cause cancer.

Well, with the exception of traveling (I usually go to a beach), watching movies (that is not real butter on that popcorn), gardening (in the sun again), drinking (goes with smoking like wax beans and bacon, also a carcinogen), working (exhaust fumes in rush hour traffic), cleaning (duh, chemicals), and hanging out with people (a precursor to smoking, drinking, and exposure to semen.)

Not much left on that list, is there? Reading's about it and reading can give you a crick in your neck which is almost worse. That said, Bob Stein, I like you and you don't seem carcinogenic. Unless you’re wearing an asbestos suit and shooting gamma rays around my neighborhood. Then get the hell away from me, you homicidal freak.

Since we have some catching up to do after being so rudely interrupted yesterday, I leave you with this list of reasons why McGone is my favorite blogroll member. He asked that I be thorough so I came up with ten.

1. He shared his pig with me.
2. He likes The Kids in The Hall.
3. He misses Arrested Development, too.
4. He doesn’t get mad when I say he’s lame.
5. He accepted me as a facebook friend.
6. Lots of pretty pictures.
7. He once told the world he thought I was funny which means he has a great sense of humor.
8. He drew a sketch of Lost character Sawyer that captures him so well that I can’t get it out of my mind.
9. He’s as bad as I am about starting a new! fantastic! regular! blog feature and then never doing it again.
10. He won't care that I could only come up with nine before I called it quits and ran off to the pool.