Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

  • Dudes, I'm so glad it's Friday. There's no way I can fake my way through any more of this week. I've had a sinus infection and been on antibiotics since Monday. I've spent my entire week wondering why or when I put my head into a vice, wishing I could use a screwdriver to scratch that infernal itch on my eardrum, and never knowing just when the antibiotic is going to send me running to the can with the green skitters again. I have an appointment with my ear-nose-throat specialist today to find out why my tonsils are still swollen and my head still hurts. I'm hoping it isn't meningitis. Pray for me.

  • I went back over to Heathybear's new apartment last night to do some more painting. When I was there on Sunday she and I were able to finish the dining and living rooms. We put taupe on the walls. It came out purple. Not kidding. There was no getting around it, the color turned purple on the walls. So last night she took the paint back to Home Depot. They wouldn't remix a new gallon but the gal added some black tint. Didn't help at all. So we decided to fix it ourselves and started adding other colors to the "taupe." We started with a quarter of a can of yellow/cream, mixed it in, put it on the wall, and waited to see what would happen. Initially you could tell a difference. We liked it and were hopeful. In under 5 minutes the new color disappeared into the purple. So we added a quarter can of green. Still purple. We added a quarter can of white. Hopeful, hopeful, hopeful . . . still freaking purple! So then we added a shit ton of chocolate brown and just started painting. At this point we didn't care if it was different, we were putting it on the walls. And sadly, we couldn't even tell where we'd been. Well, except for the trail of spills I was obnoxiously leaving as I went around the room. It was still purple. I got the bright idea of putting some on a wall in a different room. I marched into the bathroom, slapped some on the wall and about fell over. Taupe, a rich, beautiful taupe. Can you believe it? All that work and it's the lighting in the room that makes that TAUPE paint look purple. The gal at the paint store suggested Heathybear use yellow lights in the room. We made fun of her right up until the moment we painted the bathroom taupe. The lighting is so funky in that apartment that all of the colors look different at different times and from different angles. It's a bit spooky. We decided that a little old gay man lived there all of his adult life, cheerless in his metaphorical closet, always pining for flamboyant wall color but choosing taupe so as not to give away his secret, and now he's messing with Heathybear from the beyond in his quest for a colorful apartment.

  • The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch is FINALLY back from her 3 week hiatus. Hi, Lady! We missed you! She commented on yesterday's post and said she was sorry to have missed the 20 Questions series. Since she was one of the inquisitors I went back and made a "20 Questions" category in the "Concierge" section of the sidebar. So, Lady? Go! Go now and read them! I answered your question first.

  • Don't forget Big Brother 10 starts Sunday night. I am more than ready for some entertaining TV. I'm thinking about reinstating Big Brother Bullets. Anyone have an opinion?


Dr Zibbs said...

The great thing about helping a friend paint is that you can experiment with new ways of painting. OK..I can't paint with my foot - it ain't my place.

Renaissance Woman said...

I love painting...but I wouldn't have had any ideas about what colors to mix to change from purple! Sorry you feel crappy!

Heathybear said...

Oh Gwen you are the best for trying. I wanted to make over to the apt to look at the new "taupe" in the light of day but overslept again! One beer after 4 hour of painting and a stressful day and I am out like a light...but not a yellow light.

Keeper Of All Things said...

Instead of a screwdriver to itch your ear
Get one to drink
vodka will clear your sinus and
oj is good for ya!!!

Moe Wanchuk said...

How about an Entourage (HBO) forum?

hello haha narf said...

oh my fuck, the paint fiasco made me giggle to the point of scaring the dogs. especially about the apartment being haunted by someone who needed purple walls. you are too adorable for words.

oh, i might not be a big brother fan, but if you are then you should do the bullets. so long as they make you happy, i won't mind. :)

amy & jeff said...

It's called metamerism, which means the way light effects color. I learned it in interior design school. It's why you never buy fabrics or paint for the home without exposing them to the light they will be used in.

And now you know.
That's one to grow on.

Whiskeymarie said...

I didn't realize that you were one of those friends that ACTUALLY helps paint, not just saying you'll help pain and then you come over and drink all of my beer.

Come to St. Paul. Now.

Thank you.

Whiskeymarie said...

Um, paint. PAINT.