Everything I Like Causes Cancer

A while back I asked you guys what else you could possibly want to know about me and y'all submitted some really good questions.

Off topic for a sec, I was dying for an opportunity to post that picture of myself with a stick up my nose and I was surprised by everyone's positive reaction to it. It even drew some new readers out of the woodwork. (Hi, guys!) Behold the power of style and sophistication.

I bet you forgot I even asked for questions because it's been so long since I did it but the thing is I was saving them. See, there are now only 6 days until my very first ever blog-o-versary and I'm pretty darned excited. I can't believe I've been writing here, almost every day, since I opened up shop on Sunday, July 7, 2007.

I was born without the stick-to-it-iveness gene and historically I've hopped from one hobby to another, investing a ton of money on the front end only to lose interest a couple months later. As proof, I can show you a closet full of beads and beading paraphernalia that I never unpacked when I moved into this house over three years ago. Maybe my hobby was actually shopping.

So yeah, I'm excited. I finally found a hobby that entertains me and challenges me and that I still love doing. To celebrate, I'm going to answer the questions posed by two people every day between now and then, culminating with a special edition super-duper anniversary post on July 7.

So, ready to get to know me better? Better than you probably wanted to know me? Maybe "ready" isn't the right word. Just keep reading.

I may not stick to the exact order of your posted questions, but I am actually starting with the first, from The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch, who asked:

Ever been married? If you mentioned it before I musta missed it. Just curious.

Great question! Yes, I was, but I really don't even think about it anymore because I've never felt much like an ex-wife. That, and I've been divorced for 11 years. Holy hell, that makes me feel old. Um, moving on.

This question stirred a corner of my heart that hasn't been warm in a long time. So much so that at midnight last night I found myself buried under a pile of yearbooks, scrapbooks and pictures from our courtship and marriage. I wasn't married long enough to finish constructing my wedding album, so I'm taking this opportunity to show off some of my favorite wedding pictures. If this kind of thing makes you want to gag, scroll down. Heaven forbid my joy make you sick.


I met Steve in college during the early weeks of the fall semester of 1989, my sophomore and his freshman year, but we didn’t start dating until 1992. The first time we met he and his roommate crashed our “Underwear Olympics” party, and while there he sprayed whipped cream into my super-long, product coated, spiral-permed hair. I went ballistic. He took my verbal abuse for about 20 seconds before he chucked me over his shoulder, carried me down the hall, and held me under a shower head in the men's room. I spent the next two years loathing him with the white-hot fury of a thousand suns, convinced he was just another steroid-addled fat-headed tool of an athlete, and calling him names.


Imagine my surprise (and chagrin) when, on the first day of my senior year, he walked into an advanced class of mine, one I would have never expected him to take as an elective, something like Mythology 240 or Romanticism to Modernism: A Perspective. All I know is that I was shocked by his interest and aptitude. Shortly after the start of the semester, he apologized for his first-year faux pas and we started dating about a month later.

We moved to St. Louis in 1994, got engaged in 1995, were married in 1996 and were divorced in 1997. He was a wonderful guy, smart and funny and handsome, but also humble and sweet. We just simply weren’t mature enough to be married to anyone, didn't once discuss the big five: money, family, career, goals, and communication, and ended up really hurting one another before it was all over. He is living in another state now, married again, has a son and seems really happy.

Today's final question comes from Othurme:

What are you wearing right now?

My wedding dress. What's it to ya?