Everything I Like Causes Cancer

So yeah, Peabody came over yesterday and we summered in The Hamptons. All of your comments were hilarious, BTW. We’d have moved over for any one of you. Girlfriend kicked off the ridiculous for the day when she pulled six airline bottles of liquor out of her goody bag.

She kept the ridiculous flowing when she insisted on swimming laps. Keep in mind it’s a ten-foot pool. I haven’t actually gone back to the record books but I’m pretty sure she broke all previous Daydream Olympics time trial records. She earned it; she worked hard.

My yard inclines incline slightly so the pool ends up having a very definite deep end. Remind me to pick up some water wings.

Taking a four-hour bath in the backyard with your friends isn’t for everyone but she and I sure had a kick. She loved it so much that a telephone call this morning found her at Target searching for a pool of her very own. She’s going to class it up a bit, though, and set it up on her driveway. Her fancy neighbors are going to love that. Mmm-hmmm.

Shortly after Peabody left, I got a call from LM who was checking to see if I was ready to go see the naked people. There was a buzz in town all week last week about the World Naked Bike Ride. From what I read it seemed like the STLPD just wanted to be sure that the organizers and participants were very clear on what is and what is not acceptable under the local public nudity codes. It also sounded like there was the potential for some skirmishing. She and I are both insatiably curious so you know we made a quick plan to go see what the fuss was about.

Sadly, there was a lot less nudity than we were expecting. We saw maybe five gals with bare but painted breasts and one naked guy. One. One naked guy. And we didn’t even actually see him, LM just happened to get a picture of him. It’s funny to see his wiener just hanging out there on his bike seat.

Anyway, I took video of almost the entire procession. It was dark so you can’t see much in some parts of the video but occasionally the obnoxious guy next to me would take a picture (make sure you catch his brilliant color commentary at the beginning) and his flash illuminates enough that you can get a sense of what it was like. It was pretty funny and there were a couple characters in the group. Almost immediately (about 0:05) watch for the guy who's wearing a naked girl suit. At around 1:40 you hear this one little gal yelling, "Yay for the polar bears and the unicorns and sea turtles!" I love how she gets all hysterical at the end. And at about 1:54 you see a bike outfitted to look like a camel.

Overall we thought it was fun and different and cool and we were glad we went, but we were disappointed by the number of people who were fully clothed. I sort of wish we had made it to the park to watch the participants prepare for the ride; I think there might’ve been more freaky frolicking to witness. We talked about it at length last night when it was over and there are a couple of us who want to ride in it if they do it again next year.

Yes, I am included in that group and no, I won’t ride entirely nude. Too bad for you!