Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

What's that old addage?  Starve a fever? . . . no . . . feed a cold? . . . no . . . I know!  Starve a cold, buy bling for a fever.  That may not actually be the old addage but it's mine and I'm old so it counts.


The mundane story behind my new bling is that BJ (my friend Beth who I've decided to call BJ here from now on, write that down, I don't want to have to explain it again) broke my sunglasses Saturday night at The First Fall Dinner Party Of The Season.  She was effing around with Blow-Up Monkey and busted my shit, the clumsy bitch, so I had to get new shit, stat.

I was going to invite you over for a fashion show and then I realized that you live so far away and don't care.  I wrote this blog post to make you look at my new stuff anyway.

Hey, sugar!  Wanna make out?
Does the tag on my glasses make you horny, baby?

Changed my mind!  Go away!

Aw gaddammit, I thought I heard you close the door!

14 comments:

McGone said...

It's actually "Drink a Fever Away, Drink a Cold Away." Also "Boredom," "Weekend," and "Family Functions."

Jon said...

So wait, you have three new pairs of sunglasses? Between your sunglass shopping sprees and all your fancy dinner parties, it's a wonder you ever find the time to hang crap all over your refrigerator.

Poobomber said...

Never go knuckle-deep when there's a camera active in the same building.

Anonymous said...

You better bust those puppies out tomorrow night for Soul Asylum downtown, just like Corey Hart!

shane

Dr Zibbs said...

I everyone, it's me - Dr Zibbs. Gwen, glad you're feeling better. That first shot is pretty sexy. I also noticed all of the crap on your fridge. You should take a picture so we can see all the stuff.

MelO said...

ow! ow! ow!
 
:::whistling:::
 
yeah, ba-beee! WORK! IT!
 
p.s. How much and where?!

MelO said...

I also tried checking out what you had on your fridge... lol!

Whiskeymarie said...

I love your approach to consumerism- because you broke ONE pair of sunglasses, you get THREE to replace it.
I'll be using this formula this weekend when I'm replacing my last bag of Doritos.

Quit picking your nose- that's gross. You'd totally never catch me doing that.

Renaissance Woman said...

Love the bling...good purchase even with a fever!

katrocket said...

If you really wanted us to see your stuff, you wouldn't have cropped the photos so high.

mike said...

The frames are all different, but they all seem to be Blu Blockers. Don't worry, I won't do the rap song from that old commercial. You should see my fridge. (actually, there is too much shit on it to see any fridge at all.)

Falwless said...

It's no wonder why I love you so much. You are batshit crazy. Just like me.

Dr Zibbs said...

Looks like you my friend will be hanging on a lot of walls soon. See my blog for details.

Vodka Mom said...

when I see someone pick their nose I feel right at home.

Subscribe