Sassy-pants Miss Lydia tagged me with a meme yesterday. Now that we all now know the meme drill I'm going to dive right in. Also, I'm not tagging anyone because there isn't anyone left to tag. This meme has been everywhere this week. I swear, if I get mono from you promiscuous monkeys . . .
1. If I have to “drop the kids off at the pool” in a public bathroom – including the bathroom in my office – and someone else comes in while I'm in there, I freeze. I sit silently still until that person leaves. I don’t want anyone to know that I’m in there or what I’m doing. This generally works out well – that person takes care of their own business and then I finish mine in peace. Except this one time, when the other gal switched off the lights as she left the room and I was sitting as far away from the door as possible. Rather than finishing my business in peace, I had to do it in the DARK! and then Helen-Keller-walk my sorry ass across the room to the light switch. Good times.
2. I love cheese fries. Let’s be honest, fries are the perfect conduit for cheese.
3. This will be my first winter owning a laptop. I loathed the heat this thing gave off all summer but brother, I’m in heaven now. I’ve decided not to start the furnace this winter but curl up under my goosedown blanket with this Gateway instead. So toasty. I’d make out with it if I wasn’t so afraid of death by electric shock.
4. I’m afraid of death by electric shock. (Kidding! I only said that because it was funny.)
5. I experienced two very interesting word verification words today:
- Rapnoopi – This one made me think of poobomber’s stupid Indian accent - dots, not feathers. I am to be loving when he does that.
- Valikemu – This one made me think, “Well, I like you, too, word verification dude with a speech impediment.”
6. My shower routine never, ever varies. Every day it's the same order: wash hair, rinse hair, wash face, put conditioner in hair, wash body (any necessary shaving having happens here while I am lathered up), rinse conditioner out of hair, get out of shower, dry off, hang towel, clean ears, put on deodorant, brush teeth, lotion face and entire body, put in contacts, dry hair, style hair, astringent face, apply makeup, get dressed, accessorize. On weekend days that I don't plan to leave the house, the routine ends after "put in contacts."
There may actually be two of you (Kimchi Amy and Whiskeymarie) who will remember number 6 from the first time I did this meme. I suspect some of you (Fal) are clucking at me like old Ukranian women arguing over the price of a khrustyky but my theory is this: you weren’t here to read it the first time and I know you didn’t scroll that far back in my archives, lazy asses, so it’s new material to you. Shut it.
Just in case it really chaps your ass, here’s two more from the same post:
7. I hate to sort clean silverware after it has been washed, so I sort it as I load the dishwasher, i.e., all the knives go in one slot, all the forks go in another, all the spoons . . . you get the idea. It's only because I'm lazy and I know I won't unload the dishwasher if I don't.
8. I hate sharing a bed. I love pillow talk and cuddling, but when I am about to drop off into la-la land? I want you to get the hell away from me and don't come back. When I find myself in any situation that requires sharing a bed, it's almost guaranteed that I won't sleep. I can't stand the other person's breathing and noises and touching. I made an awesome wife.