Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!


Don't forget!

Posted by Gwen |

Sass is on the radio today!  You can listen HERE.

I've been listening (she's doing great!) and they are talking about this thing Sass does where she adds/subtracts/divides numbers on license plates that she sees while out driving.  I wish we had talked about this last weekend because I do a similar thing.  I've only told a handful of people that I do it because it's kind of weird.

When I talk to people I count the letters in their sentences and try to find a way to split the sentence into even parts.  I've been doing this odd little brain exercise since I was a kid and over time I developed rules that help me divide the sentence evenly - like capital letters and punctuation are worth 2 and I can hyphenate words but only where hyphenation is actually allowed by the rules of punctuation.

Here's an example:  Let's pretend we're talking and you say, "I like it when you tell me I'm sexy."  Technically that sentence has 26 letters.  Easy peasy, right?  Not so.  There's an apostrophe in "I'm" and you have to count it.  So how do you divide this sentence into equal parts?  Like this . . . 

I like it when you
15 - the capital I is worth 2

tell me I'm sexy. 
15 - again, the capital I is worth two. 
If I had needed it to be 16 I'd have counted the period as two.
I could also have hypehanted sex-y if needed.

Funny, the station is now playing Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" . . . "Does that make me crazy?  Possibly."  Although I choose to believe it's a way to keep my mind busy while you're boring me.


Cowguy said...

I can count to 21 if I'm naked. That's as far as my math goes... I just now tuned in for Sass and so far just music and commercials.

I want my money back.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

My Mum does a similar thing. When she reads sentences she counts the letters to see if they add up to 12, and if they don't she'll count a word as 1, rather than the total number of letters in it and try to make 12 that way. To be honest, I don't really understand it.

I have a license plate thing as well. I use the letters to make a word that contains those letters in order. So there's a car down my street with "BCR" on the plate, so I make "Obscure". My Dad's car - "UBG" - is "Rubbing". I try to do this for all parked cars I see when I'm walking.

Stacie said...

um, wow. I count things, but I don't do any math...no.

Like standing at the copier, what better thing is there to do but count the pages as they come out? Nothing, I know.

T Rob said...

Yes Rainman, you are a little crazy, but very sparkly, definitely very sparkly.

words words words said...

We're even. You just made MY head hurt. ;)

BeckEye said...

You down with OCD?

Gwen said...

Cowguy: Huh. I would've thought you could at least get to 23. If you know what I mean.

IR: Your mum and I need to have tea. I'd teach her how to take her game to the next level of crazy.

Stacie: Do you count steps? I'm not admitting to any more crazy, just wondering. As far as you know.

TRob: I miss you.

Words: I got dizzy driving home last night thinking about how fast I was really going. We'll only be even if you start doing this in your head, too.

BeckEye: Yeah, you know me.

Little Brr said...


This explains a lot, Peach... now I know why you sometimes look at me like I'm nuts when we're chatting. At least I know now that I'm not the cah-razy one and it's just you and your OCD. Whew!

I do the license plate thing sometimes when I'm stuck in traffic. I make up sentences or phrases with the letters on the plate. BMN 911 for example..."blow me now and HURRY!"

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Hahahhaha Cowguy 23. I GET IT!

Shit, I can't even count to 8 without my adding machine!!

That's heavy math! Maybe we'll try that license plate thingy on the way up to Duluth tomorrow. I wonder if Larry will mind if I bring my adding machine! (It's an accountant thing)

Happy Friday!!

- Jennifer

mo.stoneskin said...

If I did the maths while driving I would end up dividing by zero and then crash.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I do a similar thing with license plate numbers. I add them up in various ways to see how often I can come up with the same sum.

Also, when I drive through Ohio, I usually pick a letter of the alphabet and then start looking for that letter on the license plates, and then I start going through the alphabet sequentially from there.

Whiskeymarie said...

All I do when I look at license plates is try and figure out if they sound like words like "boobies" or "fart".

I was told there wouldn't be any math.


Son of a Thomas said...

When I count on my fingers I use my thumb as one not the index finger.

Does that have anything to do with anything?

Soda and Candy said...

Hahhaha, BeckEye already made the best possible comment re OCD.

I'm crap at maths, so I prefer word-based games.

We used to play a license plate game on long drives, you have to come up with a sentence based on the letters of the license plate. For example, MFF = Many Flamingoes Flailing.

Also: This isn't a driving one, but a friend of mine told me he & his friends had a game where you replace words in movie titles with "vagina". Freaking hilarious, especially with longer movie titles - for example "Lord of the Vaginas: The Two Vaginas" or "Vagina Wars: The Vagina Strikes Back".

Giggle Pixie said...

No. Math. In. Head.

Makes. Me. Batshit.

Fancy Schmancy said...

No one warned me there was going to be math. What does that equal?

I LOVE YOU said...


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