Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

This. Is. All. Your. Fault.

A week ago Monday you just HAD to go and talk about it.  And I just HAD to talk about how I shouldn't ever be picked.  And karma being what it is, this arrived the very same day.

I haven't opened it, keeping it intact for scanning, so let's just see when I have to appear . . . Oh!  How 'bout that?  April 20th.  Four twenty. Apparently karma also has a sense of humor.

20 comments:

Cora said...

OH NO!!!!

Whiskeymarie said...

It's the year for it- I got called and ended up on a criminal case- remember? Six days of my life- wasted.

Don't you know by now that you CAN'T even say the words "j___ d___" as then you are karmically fucked.

Live and learn, Gwennie, live and learn.

Chemgeek said...

When you fill out the questionnaire make sure you indicate you are prejudice against everyone. Tell them you hate blacks, whites, gays, straights, men, women etc.. and tell them you make all judgments based on looks. That should take care of it.

Scope said...

Like you said in your comments to Candy, they hear your job title, and you walk.

Otherwise, I can send the harmer monkeys down to do a little "administration of justice" if you know what I mean.

Sass said...

Oh, I think we can get you right out of this.

This could be fun.

words words words said...

Wear a nun's habit. Nobody will want a nun on their jury because she'll vote fairly and 99% of defendants are guilty.

mo.stoneskin said...

Sorry about that, when I prayed 'Dear God please summon Gwen to court' I had no idea what I was doing...

I'll be more careful in the future.

Son of a Thomas said...

I have never been selected for jury duty but I want to be. Most of the people I have met who complain about jury duty have nerver served.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

OH SHIT- When I saw the post title-with my full name and everything, I knew I was in big trouble....

Sorry babe, I am serving April 29th. What's up with the Jury karma??

Let's turn this frown upside down and take this opportunity to turn this into some dueling diva jury duty posts!!! Yeah, I'll email you-this could be fun!

Soda and Candy said...

I'm with Son of Thomas. I would LOVE to be called for JD, because (1) I am nosy, and (2) I love being judgmental!

Cowguy said...

I'm falling back to the old "don't touch my eyes" routine.

When they quiz you for the jury pool, just answer every question with that line.

Blow your nose on a roll of toilet paper you pull out of your purse.


Yeah, that oughta do it.

Pegnandy said...

Be careful in the City - you NEVER know who will get picked for the jury. And the job title doesn't get us a pass anymore. The last time I had jury duty I had to have 2 separate bench conferences with the Judge and attorneys (one on each day - thanks for having me back!). The first jury member was the girl who said she could never judge anyone and didn't want to do it. Eventually there was a jury uprising and the judge ordered a mistrial. Don't you love living in the City?

SkylersDad said...

I think they have been reading blogs to find out who hasn't served in awhile.

Mermanda said...

I feel like if I acknowledge this blog post I will in some way be punished also. Therefore, la la la. I like candy!

Gwen said...

WM: I didn't say the words, SHE did.

Scope: Ah, but I DO get picked, despite my legal background. Every. Single. Time. And then the panel always wants me to be the jury foreman. I did the Foreman job last time unofficially b/c it was a murder trial.

Words: Methinks you just want to see me dressed as a nun. ;)

Mo: You will pay for this when you least expect it.

SOAT: Again, I get picked EVERY TIME.

Cowguy: Now this I might actually try. BTW, are you peeking in my windows? Because this morning I realized I was out of kleenex and was using TP. Spooky.

Peg: You know my pain, STL city dweller and fellow legal professional.

SD: You may be right.

Stacie said...

*knocking on wood just in case*

ugh

4/20 good times

Giggle Pixie said...

Buwhaahahhaaahhhhaaaa...

BeckEye said...

Draw a swastika on your forehead if you're called in. They won't pick you.

katrocket said...

They picked you because you're very special. Deal with it, sugar. ;)

Fancy Schmancy said...

Show up drunk, that way if they pick you, at least you'll have fun!

Subscribe