Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Apparently somebody has grown tired of reading our shitty blogs.  I suspect I'm one since he has stopped commenting here with any regularity so I hope to push him past his ability to stand it with this post which chronicles the last two days of my life in mostly boring pictures - you know, the ones I took when I was out living my life, not blogging it.


On Wednesday I walked in the back door after a long day at work to find a favorite pitcher of mine in pieces on the kitchen floor:

"Jesuschristgoddamnfuckingcats!"

Then I went out and drank my body weight in Irish cider:

video

I woke up the next day with a super fun, totally dehydrated, need a banana bag type hangover but sweated it out cleaning up the yard.  I smelled awesome when I was done, like day-old beer, cigarettes, unrestful sleep, and sweat.  You totally would have made out with me.

I took the day off work to trim my bush.

The next couple pictures are for Son of A Thomas, my gardening soulmate.  Dude, here's what's blooming so far, hyacinths and daffodils:

I cut one hyacinth - ONE - and took it to work Monday.  My office, and the general area around me, still smells divine.  If you don't have any of these, please, put some in next fall.  You will love them.

This is the lilac tree I keep telling you about that I planted last year.  It made through the winter!  Yay!  As soon as it blooms it will also smell amazing.  I like to take cuttings of the most fragrant things in my garden and give them to the little kids next door to take to their mom.  I bet your little ones would get a real kick out of this, too.

I couldn't help myself in Lowe's and had to have these:


Oh!  I also cut off half of my hair:


This is what it looks like now.


This is what it looks like from the back.  


(Is that Zibbs character gone yet?  I was sure he'd be gone by now.  I mean, there were some of these I was going to show you anyway, but really?  The back of my new hairc. . . zzzzz.  Alright, this next couple should do the trick.)

Here's the map of Minnesota delineated regionally by Hotdish that Whiskeymarie sent me for my birthday last year.  I just wanted her to know that she won't see it in my house because I hung it in my office where I can see it every day.


And here's a bunny I found in my yard while I was working.  To the left of the bunny, really tiny and bright green, is the bleeding heart I planted last year.  It's tiny in this picture because it's the kind of plant that dies completely back every fall.

And here's an empty pitcher and the remains of the yummy blue margaritas we had at dinner tonight:

I think I just heard the back door slam.  Mission accomplished, bitches.  Don't forget - Whiskeymarie will be here in two days.  TWO DAYS.  I just peed a little.

28 comments:

Chaka said...

Nice post. That was actualy quite entertaining. I'm not really into flowers, but you got me excited for Spring with those pictures. The haircut looks good too.

The Gnu said...

i enjoyed it! nice garden. and nice haircut!

mo.stoneskin said...

How could Zibbs possibly not like that bush?!

LegalMist said...

I'm sure yours are not the "boring" posts Zibbs was complaining about. You and Whiskeymarie could write (have written, probably) about fasteners (you know, like nails and bolts and screws ... heh-heh, she said "screws"...) and make it "riveting."

Whiskeymarie said...

YOUR HAIR IS SO FREAKING CUTE!!!
I apologize in advance if I try to make out with you because of your awesome new hair this weekend.
Seriously.
If you find me groping you at three o'clock in the morning just direct me to the couch or something.

Oh, and I'm stealing your cats. Thought you should know.

Cora said...

Love the 'do!!!!

And if Zibbs ain't interested in pictures of your bush, there's something wrong with him, okay?

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm flying out this morning to kick your ass. I've only NOT commented on about five of your blog posts since June 2008.

Dr Zibbs said...

So take that.

Scope said...

The cats did it on purpose. They told me they were jealous of George Monkey.

Have fun at "Whiskey-Fest" this weekend. I know how hopped up you are for this.

Little Brr said...

Oh nooo! The sacred Sangria pitcher has gone to heaven. Bastard pussies!

Nice job trimmin' your bush. I think I'll take you up on your offer to come over and trim mine.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Oh Gwennie, this is why I soooooo love you!!!!!!!!

This post rocks! Your hair looks FIERCE! I wish I could wear a killer short hair style like that and look as good as you!!! I'm totally jealous of your spring flowers and your pending visit from Whiskey.

You and Whiskey Marie for an entire weekend?? St Louis will NEVER be the same. PLEASE give us updates and multiple pics....

Doc said...

Love the new Do.

Doc

Son of a Thomas said...

Very sweet. Lilacs are great. I have 9 or 10 I think.

Sass said...

I watched those flowers grow RIGHT BEFORE MY VERY EYES. ;)

And Gwen...you won't get rid of anybody posting a-freaking-dorable pictures of yourself on here.

Sorry to break it to ya, kid. But you're too damn sexy.

Have tons of fun this weekend. Will I be able to hear the laughter from 90 miles away? :)

Stacie said...

girl, you can ROCK the short hair...I love it...and wish I could rock it like you.

trimming your bush is a good thing...and the yard looks amazing too.

No daffs here, still too chilly...but soon, oh soon. I think I planted 50 some bulbs last fall, my fingers are crossed hoping they all make it!

hello haha narf said...

your bush looks great.

i'm so jealous that you can rock the short hair. looks fantastic on you!

were the cats bleeding? the only way i wouldn't have been mad about the broken glass is if someone was hurt. thankfully my dogs stay off of the counters.

Soda and Candy said...

I too shall join the chorus of "Great Hair!!!"

also, look at the widdle bunny wabbit, that is so cute!

katrocket said...

I LOVE YOUR HAIR! Now I want you more than evah, dahlink.

And that Zibbs post? Funny, I stopped reading his blog a while ago for the same reasons. If he wants to impress me, he should take his own advice and knit me a fucking sweater.

SkylersDad said...

I love your hair, bush, yard, and would totally make out with you when you're sweaty!

katrocket said...

I love your bush, too.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

When I moved into my house, I had a forsythia bush that was lovely. Big, but lovely. My mother and father came to visit. In the midst of its blooming, my mother instructed my father to cut the bush back drastically because, in her words, "that's what that thing needs!"

Predictably, the shock was enough to kill the bush because, you know, it wasn't fricking dormant! Ugh!

Anyway, I've been kicking around ideas for a replacement. I think you've convinced me to plant a lilac bush (if they do well down here, that is).

H said...

Gwennie! I love your hair. But I have to say that I am jealous that it looks like you went to Chimi's without me...actually just mad I didn't have a blue margarita last night. YUM!! Hope you and WM have a great weekend. CALL ME so I can meet her.
XOXO,
H

Fancy Schmancy said...

Hey Whiskey, give her a kiss for me, too!

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Love your Minnesota Map! Have a super time w/ W.M.!!! Have one for me!

I'll be in Gaylord, MN joining in on the Bar Putt Putt tourney while you two party there!

HAPPY FRIDAY!
- Jennifer

Grant Miller said...

Dr. Zibbs is so fucking bored of this. But not me.

Suze said...

A day to trim your bush? I won't say anything else :) You're the cutest Gwennie!

Lisa said...

hahahaha.

I was so totally going to do a post for zibbs like this one too... just to get him going, but then I figured, hmmm... maybe he's just doing that whole negative attention thing, and like you, I was out living life, not blogging it last weekend... so it never got done.

I'm so glad someone did it!

limeAbeann said...

Minnesota :) Thats whats up!

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