A couple months ago I sat in my friend Peabody's kitchen while she made us dinner, discussing a blogger whose husband and kids had taken a philanthropic trip to help needy people. Peabody mentioned having been inspired by them and nonchalantly announced, "I bought a couple kids on the Internet today."
Stunned, and attempting to formulate an appropriate response, I sat there silently as she continued, "I had such terrible buyer's remorse that I had to go to Target and buy a shirt."
We're watching you.
Wanna make out?
- Gwen
- One part sarcastic, one part naughty, and all parts awesome. ~ St. Louis, MO ~ You can email me at guenosdias847 at gmail dot com.
I'M A FIRECROTCH!
November 2010 was itchy.
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That ain't no lie.
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Can't Touch This
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19 comments:
I'd be remorseful if my name was Peabody...
...or peahead...
...or pea...
Every time I see those ads with the starving kids and they're asking for money, I'm all "Send him here, I'll feed him up!"
I'm pretty much Gandhi.
Kids who you don't actually have to take responsibility for...sounds like my kind of kids. It's like a Tamagachi or whatever those little electronic animals are.
The most awesome part of this is that you have a friend named Peabody. I wish I did. I would constantly ask him/her what time I should set the wayback machine for. I'm sure that would NEVER get old.
Yeah, yeah, helping kids blah blah...
The important thing is how is Peabody's rating on the internet site? 4 stars?
If I donate to one of these things, can I tell girls in bars that I've adopted some African orphans? Because I'm pretty sure that would work even better than Jagerbombs.
Also, like Beckeye, I've noticed that your friends have awesome nicknames. Do they have an awesome nickname for you?
Does she get to name the kids? Did she buy them shirts?
I wish I was a better person and not laughing so hard at this right now.
WWW: Not really, although Peabody sometimes calls me Cancer.
mjenks: You're supposed to be laughing! I almost fell out of my chair laughing at her. The best part is that she's totally serious when she says shit like this and doesn't realize how funny it is until we laugh at her.
There are more Peabody stories just like this that I will be posting in the future. Stay tuned.
Funny...I just sold a couple kids on the internet.
I had no remorse, though.
I heard that somewhere in Africa you can feed a kid for 17 cents a day. Will someone please tell me where that is so I can send my kids there.
I would get a purse too. Target has great purses.
I can totally see this happening.
My kind of gal...
Maybe you and Peabody can go in on a kid in need in Connecticut. I have to warn you, though - it costs just a little more than 17 cents a day to feed him. Not much more, just a little more. I can promise that he may or may not be trained to be thankful if you also want to send plane fare money to have him visit you for his April vacation. What do you say?!?!
Now I feel kind of bad. I think I'll buy some herbal Viagra or something on line to make me feel better. BTW, I never have friends that invite me over for dinner. Painting, moving, cleaning, yes- never food. I need new friends. Scratch the herbal Viagra - I'm buying friends on the internet.
I sold 2 goats in dressed in kids costumes.
Peabody is gonna report me when UPS leaves 'em at her place.
*loves being reported*
Im laughing so hard at Sass' comment right now!!!!
HAHAHA!
Thank you, Gwen. My conscience is clean...of this instance, at least.
This story is like my life, except for all the parts where nice things were done at some point.
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