Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

I'm still in constant pain, albeit a lower level of constant pain than Sunday (yay!), and find that the only place I am comfortable is laying flat on the floor.


(I really hope all of you have a heyday with the jokes that can be made from that last sentence because I can read your comments on my phone and they say laughter is the best medicine.)

I've decided that if I never walk upright again I am going to give up all hope of ever dating and start dressing like this guy.  I wonder if Dr. Zibbs would loan me his skull-topped walking stick?

21 comments:

mo.stoneskin said...

Thing is, if you dress like that guy someone might knock you down and #pow!# back to square one.

Cora said...

I can't make jokes about this, Gwen. I'm sorry. It just wouldn't be right. Now if you'll tell me what you're wearing and if you're laying on your back or on your face, then we're talkin.'

;-)

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Oh, awesome. Is there anyway you can move to my neighborhood. We can hang out and everything, me in my former-athlete body, yours in your little, misshapen one. Oh, what good times we'd have. Plus, I'm pretty sure that, when the cougar attacks, I can outrun your game, limping ass.

I mean...oh, Gwen...I love you. *shifty-eyed*

Gwen said...

Cora: Caftan, on my back. Go for it.

Sass said...

Sad fact, Gwen?

You'd rock that outfit like you rock everything else.

That's just how you roll, yo.

Scope said...

Is there anyway you can get one of those wheeled board things that mechanics use so you can cruise around the first floor?

Fancy Schmancy said...

You'll need to work on your squinty eye and slurred speech. Or just stay drunk all the time. As a matter of fact, that might help the back situation!

Dr Zibbs said...

If you're still lying on the floor I'll come over and poke you with my skull topped walking stick.

Dr Zibbs said...

Ooooh - that sounded fresh.

Whiskeymarie said...

I'll buy us matching hoverrounds and we'll drunkenly terrorize St. Louis at the speed of 3mph.

C.B. Jones said...

I have 23 lewd comments I could make right now. I'm gonna save them for another time.

Literary Nut said...

Hope you get to feeling better soon! But I do think that outfit would be simply...um...smashing on you!

SkylersDad said...

I live in constant pain from a disk injury, so I would never make fun of your situation. As a matter of fact I am offering to come there and massage your back for you, what can I say, I'm a giver. ;^)

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

The only place you are comfortable is laying flat on the floor? See, that's why I have a cunning series of mirrors angled to allow me to watch TV while prostrate.

words...words...words... said...

If you want, I'll come over and bolt your TV to the ceiling!

And then rifle through all your shit since you can't get up to stop me.

Stacie's Madness said...

poor thing...layin flat on your back is only good for some things.

Stacie's Madness said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kimizzy said...

At least you're not stuck on top, because that would be tiring after a while.

Hope you get better soon!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Ohh Gwen, I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. How are the meds? Are they giving you any? Do they help?

It's a good thing you don't have dogs and kids. Rest up and take care of yourself girly.

Soda and Candy said...

dude, you need a wheaty bear baaaaad.

BeckEye said...

As I keep noticing today, I go away for a long weekend and everything goes to hell.

Hope you're upright soon.

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