Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

The first thing I do every morning is check my email using my phone while I'm still in bed because I hate to get out of bed.  But this was in my inbox this morning and made me laugh so hard I had to get up and share it.  Plus, spending three days laying on the floor does not make good blog material so really, this is all I've got anyway.  


THE EMAIL:



When you were discussing learning to walk upright earlier today, I could not help but imagine what it must have been like.  Please, tell me...is it anything like this?

Words, Words, Words







To answer Words^3's question, yesterday I felt like the second me from the left and today I feel like the middle me: more erect, but still hairy and not fully evolved.  I like that big stick I am carrying.  I need to get one of those.

I'm going in to the office today.  I may be back home by noon but at least I'm giving it the old college try.  (That's not true.  In college I wouldn't have tried.)

24 comments:

Scandalous Housewife said...

When you were learning to walk upright, did you also grow a penis?

Sass said...

I'm frightened right now.

Whiskeymarie said...

WWW has obviously never seen you naked- your boobs are much bigger than that.

Nikki said...

I have never seen Gwen nekkid either. If we are having nekkid moments and I'm not invited I'm hurt. :( Happy Hump Day to you all!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I'm glad to see that you're progressing down the line in gradual increments. When you get all the way to the right, ironically enough, I'll be more erect, still hairy and not fully evolved. Oh, and carrying a big stick.

Funny how that works out.

H said...

Is it bad that I think male hairy Gwen is kinda hot???


Yeah, I thought so too.


Sigh.

SkylersDad said...

I think I like the latest version of you, because you no longer feel the need to carry a weapon to fend me off.

O.G. said...

I did not know that part of the evolutionary process was that your neck became more centered on your body.

P.S. - Put on some clothes.

Dr Zibbs said...

Excellent work.

And did something to my back while sleeping last night. I'm not blaming you but...

Soda and Candy said...

That is effing hilarious.

Dr Zibbs said...

Gwen - A TBY theme song has been recorded and is on my Snapvine. I am dedicating it to you and your sick back.

mo.stoneskin said...

I'm surprised at you, sending yourself an email like that.

Cora said...

Ha ha ha! Now THAT is FUNNY!!!!

Aww, I hope you feel better soon.

C.B. Jones said...

I have a stick like that on the front porch. I could probably sell it on eBay if you consider it to be designer wood.

Fancy Schmancy said...

That is so funny, hope you're feeling much better, today!

~E said...

LMAO! Trust Mr. Words to come up with something like that.

And btw Gwen, I have the number to a GREAT bikini waxer...take care of that little problem you seem to be having.

The Gnu said...

the last one looks like you're strutting. weeeiiirrrddd!

RW said...

You should not be erect.

Er....

Suze said...

I was gonna say that your back ailment has made your boobs fall off. Poor, poor Gwennie!

zelzee said...

And through it all......not even a hair out of place!

Literary Nut said...

Hey I've heard big sticks can be a lot of fun...I'm just saying! Anyways, hope your back gets to feeling better!

words...words...words... said...

I'm famous!

Please don't blog about the other picture I sent. You know. THAT one.

Kimizzy said...

Words.Is.Hilarious.

And I want that big stick you're carrying too. All to myself. With the curtains drawn and the door locked.

Mermanda said...

I suddenly understand "survival of the fittest." I need a stick.

Subscribe