Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Earlier this week H sent me an email (and posted here) about a new website she found, www.textsfromlastnight.com, and I have to agree that this is the best new website I've seen in a while.  Their tagline is "Remember that text you sent last night?  We do."

I'm surprised I haven't seen anything I've sent on there given that I am instantly drawn to electronics once I've reached a certain BAC level/had three jack and cokes and a Magners.  I suppose it's only a matter of time since this post will alert everyone I know to its existence. *sigh*

Anyway, since it's Friday and I know you don't want to be working because I don't, I want you to pull out your phone, scroll through your texts and then put the funniest one you can find in the comments.  Keep in mind, like the site says, these are funnier if you steer clear of entire conversations, if you take things out of context.

Sadly, I just recently ran out of memory in my phone and was forced to delete everything if I ever wanted to receive another one but of the 20 that have accumulated since, this is pretty damn funny out of context:

This sounds like the beginning of a sci-fi movie.  Where you get eaten.

So, monkeys, what you got?  Make me laugh.

26 comments:

Sass said...

Mine would be...

"I'm just like her. But not as slutty. And with less money. I don't get tested weekly."

That was in my INbox, mind you...;)

Tricia said...

Mine says:

"So when does the text stalking begin?"

or maybe this one:

"Bouncy Leg Guy is driving me nuts I may kill him"

Student/Teacher said...

"Oh, now, there's no such thing as a premonition. Do you believe in hobgobblins?"

Girl Interrupted said...

"A gangsta bat with a flick-knife, I can even hear an orchestra playing sinister 'atmosphere' music"

Do you think we were texting the same person?

Amanda said...

Funniest I could come up with is:

"Hot as snot upstairs you should stay down where its cool. Girls did finally fell asleep around 10"

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Mine is a few years old, on a phone I no longer have but which I'll never forget. It went like this:

"Bo! only works when good things happen, but bad things happen so big boo. but good things do happen, s'apparently"

carolyn said...

Mine is

"long, hot."

Instant visual right there.

H said...

Mitch's hat got it's cherry popped last night by the Flight of the Conchords and the whole New Zealand Symphony Orchestra!

mo.stoneskin said...

I've got a text saved from years and years ago. My best mate sent it. Here it is.

'There's nothing better than a cold Bud in the sun. Except perhaps a good clean poo. But why not have both?'

BeckEye said...

I am dying laughing at your Spiders and Snakes tagline. JIM STAFFORD! I remember having that 45 when I was little and I loved that stupid song.

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm the last person in the US who doesn't text because I have internet on my blackberry and I refuse to spend $10 more.

Even though I think there's a way to bypass it with blackberry messaging but I'm to lazy to figure it out.

Anonymous said...

"I just took a big hairy shit on your sweater, cockface."

SkylersDad said...

"Drag me into hell mama"

It wasn't meant for me...

Anonymous said...

I've got another one....

"I just woke up fully clothed. Shoes and coat too. I apparently puked on my bedskirt."
Reply -
"Just woke to the sound of your text. Went to pee and found a converse in my toilet. I puked on my bedskirt too. See you at work."

Fancy Schmancy said...

I am anti-cell phone...

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Somehow I inadvertantly signed up for this automatic text service that texts me about one a week with the most useless crap ever!

Now I wished I had saved some of the ones that made me scratch my head, but the one I got yesterday said,
"There are more cars in the state of California than there are cows in India."

No kidding...for reals

Nikki said...

Mine

"Good news! I THINK I just started my period!"

I dunno what she means by that but my reply was.

"Either that or you got stabbed by Vag monkies!"

Gwen Gwen Banana Fo Fen said...

Candy: Or pigs in Egypt. ;)

Cora said...

"That is AWESOME! Not only does a scary penile unit live in your lamp there are TITTIES floating on top!

Well if it could happen it would happen in YOUR house I guess. :)"


Okay, so it's not a text. I live like a caveman and don't text. Ever. But that was a comment someone left on one of my blog posts, which cracks me up - especially taken out of context! Hee hee.

Cora said...

If you wanna see the quote in its context, here ya go:

http://lovelettersbycora.blogspot.com/2009/03/wordless-wednesday-lewd-lava-lamp.html

Enjoy!

J.J. in L.A. said...

Just this morning, I texted...

When I hear your name, I think, 'She's my friend who sends me pervy texts'.

words...words...words... said...

"dont 4get ur dolly"

Scope said...

I'm with Zibbs. I have email on my BlackBerry. I can stream YouTube videos for free. I will NOT pay to send bits in texting.

Except, for you Gwen. ;-)

And drunken Facebook mobile? Hell-to-the-YEAH!

Soda and Candy said...

Hmm. My favorite one so far I can't put the whole thing, but it begins

"Yo, dumbass..."

Coolred38 said...

"he told me to pull it out and give it a yank"...

we were discussing mechanics if anyone is wondering.

Whiskeymarie said...

I have nothing whatsoever to contribute to this conversation...

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