On my way to work this morning I was listening to NPR and heard that Egypt was planning to slaughter all of the 300,000 pigs in their country as a preventative measure against swine flu. I honestly didn't believe at the time that their idiotic plan would come to fruition, that someone with a lick of sense would put a swift end to it.
I was wrong.
I just read over my lunch hour that the slaughter has begun. Not surprisingly, Egyptian farmers are pissed and throwing rocks. Those pigs are likely all these men possess, the currency and lifeblood of their existence, and they will do anything to protect them. I predict this situation will get worse before it gets better. Being a humanitarian, I would now like to address the people in charge of Egypt . . .
Um, Egyptian dudes? Listen to me closely . . .
- There have been NO reported cases of swine flu in your country.
- Swine flu is not contracted from pigs; it's called that because it started as a porcine virus but it has mutated into a human one. YOU CAN'T GET SWINE FLU FROM PIGS.
- And, dare I say it, your former King Herod tried this slaughter move a long time ago with baby boys and it didn't work out so well for y'all in the end. Remember Moses? Yeah.
Don't make me come over there.
If I have to come over there, it's going to be a whole lot worse for you.
I mean it.
I'm giving you until the count of three.
One . . . .
Two . . . .
Aw, damn it, I'm going to have to get up and come over there, aren't I?
*muttering as I get up from my cushy office chair* Jackasses.
29 comments:
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... bacon....
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... bacon....
why the hell did I just double post. Geez, first time on the internet, newbie!!!
Sounds like it's time to invest in that sweet Egyptian Sausage Factory stock I've been eying for a while.
Go get 'em! Poor pigs.
*facepalm*
You seriously rock my world, Gwen.
Like, just by existing.
Please don't hurt your back fighting Egyptians. Let me go instead. I'll sort them out.
Maybe they'll mail me the bacon- I'm willing to take the risk and those poor piggies shouldn't perish in vain.
Oh- I'll take the ham too.
Your blog description up above for today made me giggle. At least we'll all be in hell together...
Saddle up. I'm coming too.
I love it when you get all ranty!
Go get em girl! Bunch of swine, all of em!
Talk about ignorant. That's terrible. You'd think they might consider doing a little research on the matter before doing something this drastic, right? I'm stunned.
On the positive side, it $2.99 Grand Slams at all Egyptian Denny's locations. Actually, I think the government might have been doing them a favor, I mean, I thought that Muslims didn't eat pork? That's like raising puppies for food in America.
Another reason why I'm considering vegetarianism.
Stupid Egyptians. I mean that in the nicest way possible of course.
Solid argument - If I were an egyptian government official I would be swayed.
You can't fix stupid...
First the bad sculpting on the Sphinx now this.
Did you ever thing you would miss the government / media over-hyping of SARS?
If it's like the 1918 flu pandemic, shut your pie hole. I don't want to hear it.
The world needs more common sense like yours. You'd get my vote as an international enforcer.
Be careful...they will see you coming...Reason sticks out a mile over there and is easily spotted....people run from it.
I thought that EVERYONE knew that it wasn't the PIGS fault. Ignorant people!
I am constantly surprised at people's stupidity. Let me know if you need some backup...
I got your back sister. You go over there, kick ass, and let me know via email what I can do to finish up. Thanks....now back to eating little Debbie cakes and watching Days of Our Lives.
Yeah, Gwen, if you need some back up, let me know. But, give me ample time to load my smoker into my car. And some tongs. And some barbecue sauce.
jenks: I'll bring a case of wetnaps. And brown sugar.
well wrtitten. good thing I keep kosher...usually.
http://thecorner33.blogspot.com
*head desk*
Oh, Boutros Boutros Ghali.(translates to "yeah, you tell 'em Gwen")
Those poor pigs. And think of all the Ham radios those Egyptians will no longer be able to use to call whoever it is that people with ham radios call. Sad stuff.
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