Everything I Like Causes Cancer: I'm a great hostess

3/23/2009

You asked for it

Posted by Gwen | Labels: I'm a great hostess, Stuff that's crap-your-pants scary

comments (23)

3/21/2009

Drunk Monkeys

Posted by Gwen | Labels: Blogstalking, I'm a great hostess

Whiskeymarie will be here in two hours. TWO HOURS.

comments (12)

12/07/2008

Is this what you've been waiting for?

Posted by Gwen | Labels: Blogga Meet-up, I'm a great hostess, Silliness

The other gals didn't know it but I was able to convince a handful of other bloggers to show up by telling them that I was having a contest and giving away a Wii.

Suckas!

The gals showed up right on time and we immediately hit it off. I don't even think it took five minutes before we were doubled over laughing. Every good thing you've ever thought or read about these gals is true - they are gorgeous, funny, smart, warm, and just generally awesome.

The mimosas didn't hurt, either.

These three kept to themselves, saying there was some ridiculous comment count quota required to be in their "club" but after a couple drinks they loosened up and stopped acting like ~~dictators~~ dick taters. We killed a bottle of champagne (What? There were nine of us!) and then headed out for bloody marys and more food.

I think the champagne got to Sass because there was a little smooching goin' on in the parking lot as we headed into the restaurant. The rest of us pretended to be nice and went in but really we watched from the front door and giggled.

When we weren't watching, Dr. Zibbs set up shop in the corner just like he promised he would do here.

Fortunately, he felt "safe" pretty quickly and "emerged."

In fact, he got so comfortable that within minutes he was under the table taking these:

Gratuitous picture of how much fun we had:

Gratuitous picture of how much fun Fal had:

I think it was after this that the two-top next to us stomped off in a huff and went to the bar. Bitches.

I will admit that we got pretty loud and obscenities were shouted but if you can't take the heat you shouldn't sit down next to four adult women playing with masks made with tongue-depressors. Duh.

We really bonded.

We talked about all of the rest of you a lot and even though it felt like you were there because we ~~mocked~~ did impersonations of you, you were still missed.

Today was as fun as I imagined and more. It was bawdy and loud and comfortable, and funny as hell the few times it did get uncomfortable. We talked at length and repeatedly about how pinching and poking and during oral isn't cool, we laughed at each other and we made the other patrons wish they'd gone to McDonald's.

These women are funny as hell and have dirt on me now so I have to say I loved them. But between you and me, I really, really did. We've already made plans to meet half-way next time on Sass' turf. We're going to find her stripper doppelganger, go boating and tour the Lincoln sites while drunk. You can't top that for everyday good times.

10:16 PM UPDATE: You can see all of my pictures here.

comments (42)

9/24/2008

And here I am. I'm back on my feet again.

Posted by Gwen | Labels: Food, I'm a great hostess, Monkeys, My Funny Friends

A hearty, but not-too-close lest you catch my disease, thanks to all of you who wished me well and offered to come over with soup and stuff while I was sick. You're awesome and I love you. Pretty people.

The rest of you guys suck but thanks for coming by and telling jokes and stuff. I wasn't sure it was possible, but you guys are even funnier with a 103 degree fever. The highlight of Fever '08 was continually waking up freaking out that there were mice in my house because I kept dreaming it.

I'm feeling better but not great. I still have a raging headache behind my left eye. It feels like there's a little man back there clutching my optic nerve with both hands and really putting his ass into pulling it with all of his wee might. Problem is, it only takes a wee tug for the optic nerve to scream like a little girl. Wait, do I now have two wee people in my head? What? Do I still feel hot to you? Am I hallucinating again? Is someone weeing?

Back before I contracted the plague, I had a busy, busy wonderful weekend. At about 11 on Saturday my two best friends from high school drove the hour and a half from our home town to have lunch with me. I started brining a pork butt on Thursday and had piled-high, juicy pulled pork sammiches by Saturday lunch, with a side of homemade macaroni salad. De-lish! (Email me at guenosdias at prodigy dot net if you'd like the recipes.)

Monica headed home mid-afternoon while Jodi stayed with me until it was time for her to meet her family here in STL for dinner. She helped me get ready for Entertaining, Round Two: the first fall dinner party of the season! (A shocked and impressed intake of breath is appropriate here. Men, fake it, I'd do it for you.)

Jodi helped me set a beautiful table around which my dinner guests, who arrived about 45 minutes after I dropped Jodi off downtown (see? busy!), and I sang classics like "Send In The Clowns" at annoying volumes and played with a wooden wine stopper carved in the image of a kerchiefed German hausfrau.

I remember overhearing Frau Henni screeching in a voice very similar to H's, "But you don't need any more wine!" and "What you need is a good fist fucking!"

With all the commotion and monkey fighting you probably feel sorry for me that the meal was was overlooked but you'd be wrong because it was awesome and everybody loved it (me):