Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

The other gals didn't know it but I was able to convince a handful of other bloggers to show up by telling them that I was having a contest and giving away a Wii.  

Suckas!

The gals showed up right on time and we immediately hit it off.  I don't even think it took five minutes before we were doubled over laughing.  Every good thing you've ever thought or read about these gals is true - they are gorgeous, funny, smart, warm, and just generally awesome.

The mimosas didn't hurt, either. 

These three kept to themselves, saying there was some ridiculous comment count quota required to be in their "club" but after a couple drinks they loosened up and stopped acting like dictators dick taters.  We killed a bottle of champagne (What? There were nine of us!) and then headed out for bloody marys and more food.

I think the champagne got to Sass because there was a little smooching goin' on in the parking lot as we headed into the restaurant.  The rest of us pretended to be nice and went in but really we watched from the front door and giggled. 

When we weren't watching, Dr. Zibbs set up shop in the corner just like he promised he would do here.

Fortunately, he felt "safe" pretty quickly and "emerged."

In fact, he got so comfortable that within minutes he was under the table taking these:





















Gratuitous picture of how much fun we had:

Gratuitous picture of how much fun Fal had:

I think it was after this that the two-top next to us stomped off in a huff and went to the bar.  Bitches.  

I will admit that we got pretty loud and obscenities were shouted but if you can't take the heat you shouldn't sit down next to four adult women playing with masks made with tongue-depressors.  Duh.

We really bonded.

We talked about all of the rest of you a lot and even though it felt like you were there because we mocked did impersonations of you, you were still missed.

Today was as fun as I imagined and more.  It was bawdy and loud and comfortable, and funny as hell the few times it did get uncomfortable.  We talked at length and repeatedly about how pinching and poking and during oral isn't cool, we laughed at each other and we made the other patrons wish they'd gone to McDonald's.

These women are funny as hell and have dirt on me now so I have to say I loved them.  But between you and me, I really, really did.  We've already made plans to meet half-way next time on Sass' turf.  We're going to find her stripper doppelganger, go boating and tour the Lincoln sites while drunk.  You can't top that for everyday good times.

10:16 PM UPDATE:  You can see all of my pictures here.

43 comments:

WendyB said...

And where was my invitation?

Dr Zibbs said...

I was just about to go to bed when I saw this. You gals rock. Glad you had a good time a please elaborate on the pinching and oral stuff. Also, love the masks - especially how Poo's is so tiny.

~E said...

hrmmm...another reason why I should get my ass out of dodge (Seattle) and move to [insert your city here]

Looked AWESOME!

McGone said...

Fernando wanted me to tell you that he was offended that there wasn't a print out of him to represent the IHoB. I'm just saying.

The next meet up is in Springfield?

Fancy Schmancy said...

You all are gorgeous, and I wish you would come to southern New England next time so I can take part!

words words words said...

Best. Entry. Ever.

Scope said...

Great to hear that things went better than planned, When your in "The Land of Drincoln" and find Sasses twin, I bet she complains about all these guys who rave about her blog while slipping singles in her G-String.

And the raffle winner won a wee what? Or are you just having a piss with me?

pistols at dawn said...

Ha ha ha! I love that the Falwless picture and Jon ones are always next to each other. What a cute couple they make - and not just because she's like 8 in that picture.

Okay, mostly because of that.

I'm glad to hear that much fun was had by all. Hopefully Whiskey didn't start a barfight. Again. She looks like the type.

That damn expat said...

That sounds and looks like fun! I love love love the pictures!

Some Guy said...

That is so awesome! Can you guys come and provide entertainment for the Chicago get-together?

I'm still waiting for the pillow-fight pictures...

Poobomber said...

Hahahahahahaha, awesome!! That's hiiillllarious!

What I want to know is who went home with which cutout? Sass's kisses tasted like pretend kisses.

Sass said...

Oh Gwen...I'm so dying right now.

That was THE greatest day. And Poo, if you're wondering...I pretty much hung on to you all day. There was one point where I accidentally laid your head in my lap and pinched your forehead.

I'm just sayin'.

I feel like maybe we should get married now.

And for the record...I can't even begin to cover this the way Gwen did, but Gwen, you WERE an amazing hostess and even though you all tried to leave me in that neighborhood when i jumped out of the car, I still think you liked me. Like...A lot. ;)

Poobomber said...

Sass:
I saw the photo - and I'm wondering why you were pinching my head. But I must say, the proximity of my head to your crotch made me uncomfortably excited.

katrocket said...

That is FUCKING AWESOME ON A STICK!

Literally.

H said...

These chicks ROCK! It was like we had known each other forever. My cheeks still hurt from laughing so hard. That and Sass grabbing them and pinching them.

Gwen - thanks for hosting and for the gift. You house looks beautiful.

Sass & Melo - thanks for making the trip and trusting that we wouldn't kill you and bury you in Gwen's backyard.

XOXO,
H

Whiskeymarie said...

I don't remember much about yesterday, but I remember enough to say I'm sorry for getting the cops involved. Oops.

But it was fun- next time I'll even bring my body, not just my head.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Wow...that's a whole lot of fuck me boots going on under the table.

Winter said...

Ha! Very funny... and I'm only like 45% jealous.

surviving myself said...

I take it I wasn't invited because I'm simply too awesome? That's the reason, right?

Stacie said...

looks like you had a BLAST!

LYDIA said...

Looks like you ladies had a good time :)

mike said...

I read Melo's post first (sorry) and I thought she was kidding about the masks. Then I come over here to find out that you guys are all insane. (for not including me)

Oh yeah, and hot also. I am moving to the midwest...

Sass said...

Gwen, we need to talk.

Now.

H said...

I can't believe MelO outed me on her post.

Sass said...

I, for one, am going to post a little later today...and tell the absolute truth about our day.

SOME people, well, never mind. I'm going to lunch with my husband now. I just can't sit here much longer.

Suze said...

It looks like you all had a great time. I'm so happy for you. Bitches.

Gwen said...

Everyone: I've read the comments over at MelO's and even just received an an email asking me about her post. I really appreciate that many of you are concerned about what happened, I'm just as confused as you are, but urge the other gals not to discuss ut until we have had a chance to talk to MelO privately.

Dr Zibbs said...

I don't want to butt in but let me talk to you all one on one. H, let's start with you. Meet me in this bathroom stall in five minutes.

Dr Zibbs said...

This is Melo's mom. I just left a voice message on the Snapvine recorder. Please listen to it lady!

Signed, Melo's Mom

P.S. Something's wrong with my computer. That's why it looks like this message is from Dr Zibbs.

BeckEye said...

I can only imagine how much more sexual this would have turned if you had a mask of Pistols. That bastard really needs to show his face.

MelO said...

No, actually, we DO NOT need to talk, Gwen. In fact, we never need to talk again!

Enough with controlling everything, already! Don't you get it? I'm done!

Please don't visit my blog any. more.

LegalMist said...

H -
When did you set your blog to private? I've read your blog before - recently, even - and enjoyed it. And now I'm not invited? I feel so... left out. Not to mention curious to know your perspective on this blogger get together, which you all egregiously failed to invite me to attend!

So I am pathetically inviting myself to be invited to read your blog.

If you don't invite me, I might have to cry or something.

--LegalMist

Jennifer and Sandi said...

That is so FUN!!!! Looks like you guys had a blast. Great Idea on the masks

Happy Monday
- Jennifer

Giggle Pixie said...

**sobbing because she missed all the fun**

That looked like such a blast you guys!!!

Falwless said...

This is hilarious! Man, you guys look like you had a fuckin' blast.

Also, I may or may not have already printed out the picture of Jon and I together, had it framed at a local framing place, and hung it next to my bed.

Mermanda said...

This is adorable. Looks like a great time was had by all. P.S. I just noticed that it's snowing on your blog template. Kickass!

Emily said...

I love your blog (especially the title :), I don't know why I don't already follow it (I follow all those others!). Looks like you had a good time!

Johnny B said...

I recognize this bunch of fingerbangin' cougahs looking for fangboner boys!

Scope said...

Johnny B - That's a damn loaded "C" word to be tossing around. I think they would qualify as a "puma" instead.

Waiting for Fangboner vs. Gwentini II

TattooedMinivanMom said...

I love dick taters. They taste like salty chicken.

enc said...

Lotsalotsa fun!

Miss Alex said...

Haha that looked like a good night

Blogger said...

I have just installed iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

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