This post was originally published 11/03/08 but is still (mostly) relevant.
Don't forget to vote! Enjoy the game!
This election season has been unceasingly tedious. I've actually grown accustomed to being bombarded by it and thinking about it at all times. The theme changes - the candidates, voter registration, the debates, my love/hate relationship with Sarah Palin - you name it, I've considered it.
Today I thought about the voting process itself, things like what I should wear . . . should I take a raincoat since last time I got caught in the rain and had to pee . . . not that taking a raincoat would solve anything if I had to pee . . . should I go in the morning before work (vote, not pee) . . . should I go after work . . . yeah again vote, not pee . . . should I take a book in case the line is long . . . do they allow iPods?. . . I bet not.
This went on for a while and then my feeble mind wandered back to silly things like this image that someone sent me today, a Wal*Mart Bingo Card:
A card that rewards you for witnessing an artificial voicebox and puts the pleasure back into catching the scent of someone with unbearable body odor. (Clicking the image makes it bigger so you can see some of the other fine items you're to spot for the win.)
And then it came to me in a flash - like all my genius ideas do - why not marry the two ideas? The Wal*Mart Bingo card in polling alleys across the nation . . . it's the perfect voting accessory! All you have to do is print up your very own game card and you're all set for "good times in the votin' lines" over there at the [insert where you vote here].
I recommend you print it tonight (now) and put it over there on the table with your voter registration card. That way you won't forget to take it with you and get all mad when the line is long and you've got nothing to do but think about how you wish you'd done what I told you to do.
Also, take a pen.
I'd like to hear back about any egregious sightings. If anyone actually completes a row I might consider giving said person a prize of my choosing.