Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

I drug H out of her sickbed on Sunday and took her to see the Sugar and Art Guild's Sugared, Spiced and Everything Iced show at the Botannical Gardens.  I'm pretty sure she hates me now and is scheming a payback.  You see, the "show" consisted of six large folding tables set up in a square to display about 30 cakes and a handful of cookies we couldn't even eat.



As you can see, there were some kick-ass cakes but the show itself was underwhelming.  When we got back to the corner where we started she, in all seriousness, asked me if that was it.  I, of course, laughed to loud and we made a hasty exit.

Because we're so young and spry we had enough energy left to go shopping after THE BIG SHOW and headed down to Gringo Jones where it seems they're having a sale of sorts.


There was more shopping that I won't bore you with but do you remember when I wished for a comfortable, full-body blanket and y'all told me to get a Snuggie?  Well, there's a reason it ends in "ugg(L)ie", if you know what I mean.  It is certainly functional and I love that you cared enough to offer assistance, but once one of you funny bastards likened it to a wizard cape I knew I could do better.  Judge for yourself:

The Vapors

Now this?  This keeps me warm, makes me feel all elegant and shit, and won't show Pizza Roll stains or Dorito crumbs.  I can't wait to stand in my front yard in it, shaking an upraised fist in rage, yelling at kids to stay off my lawn.

26 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

You want to talk about "that's it"?

Years ago my boss told me to fly to Vegas for a miniatures show - in search of sculptors or vendors that we might be able to use. He said he knew nothing about the show but said, "Just go". Most of the shows that we would go to would take days to get through. This one? Took a half hour. At the end..."that's it?"

-R- said...

Very classy!

Mermanda said...

I have much respect for you not giving into the Snuggie trend. Speaking of which, have you seen the parody commercial? It makes me pee myself a little.

"Your dad will blog about how comfortable he is!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw8Y

pistols at dawn said...

You've taken a possibly irreversible step towards the grave. You know that, right?

Scope said...

I will not make a joke about H. standing on a street corner.

I will not make a joke about H. standing on a street corner.

I will not make a joke about H. standing on a street corner.

Crap, I think I just did.

mo.stoneskin said...

"about 30 cakes and a handful of cookies we couldn't even eat"

Well done for working through the 30, well done indeed.

words words words said...

Damn, and I thought that cake show sounded exciting. What bigger tease can there be than a cake show where you can't eat any cake? They should offer the cakes that didn't quite make the show and put them under a sign that says "Let Them Eat Cake".

I think Scope really restrained himself considering the wording of the signs surrounding H. Nice job, man.

Finally, in light of your pose here, I can only think of one thing to say. "I must draw you!"

RW said...

And cats. Don't forget the cats.

Sass said...

Oh, Scope went there.

"Business sucks," but does the demo-lady? Is she like one of those ladies at Sam's Club giving out free pastry with a side of General Tso's?

You just made me laugh out loud. And not the cheap LOL kind of laughing. I mean....laugh. out. loud.

Where are WE shopping?? ;)

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

That last pic is great. Nothing like a good swoon to convey the shock at seeing a young lady's ankles. Someone get the smelling salts!

SouthernBelle said...

You're so fucking glamorous I can;'t even take it.

I am very jealous of your gown. I wish I had a having-the-vapors dedicated outfit.

H said...

I would like everyone to note the incredible coat that I am wearing...it is the one I bought the day Gwennie bought hers at TFA. $40 vintage bitches!!

Gwen - thanks for a fun, fun day...again.

surviving myself said...

I want video of you yelling at the kids please.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

What you need, Gwen, is one of those long, black cigarette filters propped in your upraised hand. It would bring the whole thing together.

Amy said...

You're funny and so is your bathrobe. I heart you.

Son of a Thomas said...

You should have went back with 2 gallons of milk and a big kerchif around your neck.

Whiskeymarie said...

I was just mentioning to my friend Blondie the other day that I was actually kind of loving caftans. I decided that I would try and bring them back and now you went and beat me to the punch, dammit.

I can't keep up with you.

But I'm still buying a caftan or two and telling everyone it was ALL MY IDEA. Hahahahahahaha! (my evil laugh)

Cora said...

WHAT?! You only got to LOOK at the cakes?! RIP OFF! There should have been little cupcakes or at least parting gift cookies, c'mon!

Suze said...

Diva!

Keeper Of All Things said...

I love the fact that your not to scared to wear a 1970's bedspread.
Just kidding.
Looks good on ya.

sid said...

wait ... that's better than a snuggie? i can't even begin to imagine what the snuggie even looks like.

Cowguy said...

Sorry 'bout your vapors. Chili does that to me everytime.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

That's a great look for you!!! Verrry Joan Crawford. O

k, so now i know I'm taking your advice on my next shopping trip and whoa! did you get any great deals in that shop with the awesome sign??

I also read that the Snuggie has become some sort of cult phenomenon. There is supposedly a Facebook page devoted to it's followers and everything. Your option is much more tasteful.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I can't get the theme song from "Maude" out of my head for some reason.

words words words said...

Dearest Gwendolyn, please find here my artistic rendering of you, drawn on only the finest quality paper with the eye for detail only a true artist can bring to bear. If you would like the original for framing and display in your home, it is yours but for the asking.

http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/8692/gwenasart.jpg

Wendy said...

I thought that one cake on the left was a floor buffer until I looked closer. Must be sleep deprivation!

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