Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Sitting at my desk today I overheard one of my favorite coworkers calling another favored coworker a "lint licker." I immediately stopped typing and turned down my music to eavesdrop.


"Stinky McStinkface!"

Now these two are office BFFs so I was bamboozled by their passionate PG-13 name-calling and had to check it out. After recovering from paroxysms of giggling they explained that there's an Orbit "dirty mouth" commercial airing and the two of them were reenacting its hilarity.

I challenge you to watch this and NOT end up calling me a hoboken:


In case you couldn't catch it all:
Lint Licker: You son of a biscuit-eating bulldog!
Stinky McStinkface: What the French, Toast?
Lint Licker: Did you think I wouldn’t find out about your little doo-doo head cootie queen?
Cootie Queen: Who are you calling a Cootie Queen, you lint licker?
Lint Licker: Pickle you, cumquat!
Stinky McStinkface: You’re overreacting.
Lint Licker: No Bill, overreacting was when I put your convertible into a wood chipper. Stinky McStinkface!
Cootie Queen: You hoboken.
I called everyone else a "cumquat" under my breath all day.

23 comments:

Scope said...

Gwen, you are now, and always will be, broke, but never broken hoboken.

Gwen said...

Did you mean to tell me that I will always be broke? Cuz that's some tough foreshadowing, friend.

Chemgeek said...

The comma between French and Toast really did it for me. I laughed.

Scope said...

Broke = Busted = with B( . ) ( .)Bs.

That's that I meant. :-)

SkylersDad said...

You hoboken will now be my favorite insult. I plan on using it on several of my co-workers asap!!

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Cumquat? DAAMNNN, that's lo, Quat.

Cora said...

I've seen that! Lovin' it! It's the "doo-doo head cootie queen" jab which slays me. I'm pretty sure I called a girl that once in second grade. The mean basket weaver!

Imnotbenny said...

What the french toast?! I would never call you a hoboken!

words...words...words... said...

I'd never call you a Hoboken. You're at least a Jersey City, sweetums.

Wynn said...

Haha :D

Ellie said...

hoboken. That's an awesome word.

Hunter said...

That commercial always makes me laugh.

Eva Gallant said...

The first time I've seen that one! What a riot! lol

erin said...

I've seen this one before and still laugh at it.

I love the faces the mistress makes.

Jeannie said...

I think cumquat really does sound dirty. Good thing I don't ever have to eat them.

Mermanda said...

I've only seen that commercial a handful of times and each time it makes me feel reaaaally weird. Like I'm eavesdropping on cuckoo family's issues. We all have our issues. But NONE of us should ever be allowed to say "lint licker." :shudder:

Whiskeymarie said...

I use variations of "Sticky McStinkface" all the time. Bubs is "Farty McFartster", someone I work with is "Judgy McJudgerstein", and my soon-to-be ex sister in-law is "Needy McCrazypants".

Hmmm...I think I'll start calling you "Boobie McMonkeybutt", OK?

ttmac said...

Is lint licker letter licker's evil twin sister?

Soda and Candy said...

Heehee, I love this commercial! My favorite insult is poo-face.

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

my mom used to have an ancient goodie: HONYACK pronounced hon-yak? but it was to be a double triple arsehole, ya know? btw, her name was Gwen too. :-)

Renaissance Woman said...

This commercial makes me laugh out loud! I would love to use poo-face to insult my boss.

Maria said...

Thanks for this. I really needed a good laugh today.

PS:
The title of your blog is pure awesomeness.

cheylat70 said...

I was actually alittle put off by the comercial especially when My 11 year old daughter asked what a lint licker was, If it didn't play when children were watching maybe it would have been alittle funnier for me.

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