Everything I Like Causes Cancer

Where we've been convinced to write a new post on Dec. 2. Stay tuned!

Dudes, seriously, I fucking stink. I'm not talking about some pansy-ass, girly glow. I stink. Construction worker on a hot sunny day stink. Ate garlic and ran a marathon stink. I'm raising my arms right now so you can smell me because I know you want to. Get in there! Stahn-ky!

For some reason I got a little funky this afternoon. It happens. Everyone around me says I'm crazy when I tell them I stink, but I can smell me and I stink.

Since getting home at about 6:30 I have: ridden 10-15 miles on my bike, trimmed and edged the yard, watered the plants and swept the sidewalks. Believe me now?

I have no idea why I've been pushing myself so hard lately but this has been the norm for a couple weeks. I get home about 6:30 and then ride my bike and work in the yard until it's too dark to be outside. It's 8:30 and I JUST put dinner in the oven. (Salmon. I've got a couple fresh, homegrown tomatoes to go with it. YUM!)

This week I've been trying to get all my weekend chores done during the week because I'm leaving Friday morning for a fun-filled, and most assuredly drunken, weekend in Chicago. I'm going back up to visit these idiots. You can read about my trip to see them at Christmas here and here. If you've only got one out-click in you today I recommend you try the second "here" link. The guy in the video is my retarded friend Zellmannnnnnn. You know, the one I told you about who does public relations work for a cycling company? Gals, he's a hottie . . . six four, rides bikes all.the.time, and not an ounce of body fat. Me-ow!

It should be a good time. If it isn't, someone's getting punched in the neck. I'm taking my laptop in the hope that I can get at least one of them to drunk blog.


hello haha narf said...

LOVE chicago. i'm so jealous of the tremendous time you will have.

send the hot guy to me. i'll be sure he has fun. he can go for rides, but there won't be a bike involved. ;)

drunk blogging is oh so entertaining. looking forward to upcoming insanity. yay!

Dr Zibbs said...

I can't believe that you - Gwen, are someone that could smell bad. Then - I heard the activities and honestly, I had to open a window.
- When you go to Chicago, please take some pictures of their great greasy food. Very blogworthy. Also, if you take a picture of a Chicago landmark and have a reference to my great blog, I'll send you a special gift.
- Lastly, if you do a neck punch, please take pics. And of course, please takes pics of your game of Words, Voice, Motions that I know you will be playing and spreading to the windy city. (FYI if any of those dicks give you a problem, tell them the fact that Corpus Christy is actually the windiest city in continental US).

McGone said...

If the salmon were to have told you that you stunk, then you would have a serious problem.

You're going to be kinda sorta in my neighborhood? Turn to the southwest and give a wave sometime this weekend, will ya? I'll sense it in the blog-o-force.

MelO said...

OOh, how fun! Isn't it just the best to get away for a weekend to visit friends?! Have an awesome weekend! :)

I highly recommend taking a 'chocolate tour' if you have time.

amy & jeff said...

Was that the smell that waifted in last night? PEEE-yoo! I keed, I kee, you smell like roses.

Little Brr said...

You know... I wasn't going to mention it, but you did have a little bit of an aroma yesterday... you know, after riding your electric grass trimmer and all.

Good for you working your butt off these past few weeks. Now, go to Chicago and have a balls to the wall drunken weekend cause you deserve it. I will miss you tomorrow though ((sniff sniff))...

Falwless said...

Oh dear me, Gwennie, what is Zellmannnnn's digits? Holy sweet mother...

Any plans on making out with him when tipsy? Now THAT'S something you need to catch on video. Please. Or just him alone. Doing things that men do alone. You know.


H said...

What falwless said! All of it.

Have a great time my dear. My lake plans got cancelled so I think I see a MO winery in my future.

Call when you get back. I want details. And I really want to see you punch someone in the neck. I have that someone in mind too! ;-)