Everything I Like Causes Cancer: Frugality is Bliss

7/31/2009

Hodgepodge, like the corners of my mind

Posted by Gwen | Labels: Frugality is Bliss, I may be dyslexic

With a bunch of my friends moving to other states (Was it something I said?) and another bunch getting hitched (brown chicken brown cow!) we have all been playing hot potato with furniture these past couple weeks, leaving me to score some beautiful pieces for next to nothing. Behold my latest acquisition, a beautiful Mission dining set that is period-appropriate for my Arts and Crafts home:

I've also earned a permanent spot on the Dinner Club roster and am apparently hosting next Saturday night, which is perfect since I'm dying to feed people at this table.

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I pulled up behind this SUV on my way home yesterday and for about three seconds I thought their bumper sticker read, "KEEP AUTISM WEIRD".

I was more than non-plussed until I figured it out. And then I wondered if the local community college offers remedial reading classes.

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1/24/2009

Hold onto your vintage hats, monkeys.

Posted by Gwen | Labels: Frugality is Bliss, Making It Work Like Tim Gunn

I got this coat today at a vintage shop for $40. You heard me. Four. Tee. Dollars. I know what you're thinking . . . yeah, that's nice. Good find. Way to go, bragger.

But look at it on:

Awww, yeah, baby! That shit is hot. It's hard to see in this picture, but it has three-quarter sleeves and is lined in a sumptous gold.

I picked up my sewing machine from the shop this afternoon and the ladies in there said it is in mint condition. Now I just need somewhere to wear it. A Facebook friend recommended a PETA party but I think I can find someplace safer. H got a similar coat in a beautiful teal and we made a plan to go somewhere and have tea in them. It's more likely we'll sit around my living room.

H also bought me a present while we were there but we forgot to get it out of her bag when I dropped her off at home. All I will say at this point is that it is totally awesome, already has a motto attached to it, and Whiskeymarie and Scope are going to be jealous.

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11/24/2008

Prudence

Posted by Gwen | Labels: About Me, Frugality is Bliss

You know, every day I'm out there reading your blogs, contemplating your viewpoints, laughing out loud, and then giving 100% to the comments I leave for you - 110% of the time. And I love doing it! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. You guys are great! It's really fun. It's just that, well, we're in a recession now and I have to tighten the proverbial belt. I mean, come on, we all know I'm a hack and you only come back every day because I'm cute and there's a good chance I fell down or locked myself out of something again.

We also all know that hacks eventually run out of material. I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to do this. I hope you believe me when I tell you that it really does hurt me more than it hurts you.

At 8 a.m. tomorrow, November 25, 2008, I'm going to begin rationing my comments.

Well, not the stupid jokes. I've had a controlling interest in those for years now; they will continue to arrive at their usual pace. It's the good stuff that I have to reserve if I'm going to survive these tough times. It's all about supply and demand and right now I need to create a shortage of the good stuff, the really funny things that happened to me in real life, stuff I could turn into an entire post of its own. Think of this material as the dark meat bits that fall off the turkey carcass early and roast all day at the bottom of the pan in the tasty juices. Yeah, that good.

Like this little gem of a storyline that I casually dropped over at Stacie's place where she has a drunk raccoon in her front yard:

Yipes. I grew up on a farm and we burned our trash in a barrel in the backyard. I was responsible for taking out the trash and burning it after dinner. One night a possum came flying out of the dark barrel at my face, teeth bared and hissing, as I tried to light the trash. I ran SCREAMING back to the house and refused to go back out there for a week.

This would have been perfect for a 7 Things meme. "I was once attacked by a possum." No one could top that! But no, I just offered it up like I'm made of good material. Like good material grows on trees!

See that over there? It's my A-game tree! Isn't it just beautiful? It's been so fruitful since I fertilized it. Here! Take some of the fruit home with you! I will never use it all before it goes bad. Really, I'm just happy I could share.

As if.

Or this one! *smacks forehead* Agh! I laid out some genuine teen angst over at Fonzie's this morning when she asked about our first crushes:

Scott Baio. I even ordered his "Personal Photo Album!" off the back of Teen Beat magazine. I had to save a while to get it so you can imagine my dismay when I opened the envelope and found that it was printed in black and white and bound with staples.

It still stings a little to think about it, actually. See? I can't expect to sell the cow if I keep giving away the milk for free.

In other frugal news, in my next post I'll be revealing which of these seven things was true. Text is expected to include an update on my Alley Kat. See what I did there?

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7/20/2008

A fantastic weekend bookended with bubbly.

Posted by Gwen | Labels: About Me, About Town, Food, Frugality is Bliss, My Funny Friends

FRIDAY

9 am - 5:30 pm: Working for the man.

6:30 pm to 12 am: Haircut. After a series of unfortunate events several years ago, my hairdresser opted to strike out on her own but didn't have a place to set up a shop. She had a strong enough, loyal customer base that she has been able to keep all of us happy in either her kitchen or ours. The convenience can't be beat and sometimes she stays after we're done and we hang out. We celebrated the end of the week with a bottle of champagne, grapes, and some yummy cheese.

We opened a second bottle of wine when the champagne ran out. By the time she left at midnight I found myself a little silly and drunk commenting on all your sites.

What? Oh, you're quite welcome! It really was my pleasure.

SATURDAY

8 am: OMG my head hurts so bad. I remember that straight champagne (as opposed to in a mimosa) gives me a headache the likes of which would incapacitate a medium sized horse. Ow, ow, ow, ow. And apparently the headache was so bad that I had been clenching my jaw in my sleep which made everything 10x worse. It took three hours on the couch, a liter of water, two orange sodas and some chips and french onion dip to make it better. An aspirin might've been faster but this was more fun.

11:30 am: I get a text message from Lil BRR, no pool today. That's ok, I have a ton of errands to run and the solitude will be nice. Showered.

12:30 pm: I head out for a long afternoon of errands that starts with taking my bike into the shop for a new tire. I've decided to release it from it's 3-year-long exile in the garage and start riding it again but the back tire had dry rot. The bike shop guys could not have been any nicer or more helpful. I loved hanging out in the shop. A friend of mine does public relations work for a cycling company and it was fun to get a glimpse of his world. I understand now why he's passionate about cycling. I intend to take my first ride today and will be certain to report any and all mishaps. C'mon! We all know I'm going to crash. I also know this is going to hurt and suck for while, but that if I just keep getting out there, eventually it will get easier and more fun.

Side note to Whiskeymarie: My bike doesn't have a name. Any suggestions?

Maybe I'll ride back up to the shop today and buy a basket.

1:30 pm - 2:30 pm: I browsed up and down every aisle in Big Lots. I like to do this occasionally just to see what they have in the store because you never know what treasure is around the corner, marked $1. I found some really nice planters for next to nothing - a nested set of 3 for $12 and an urn for $20. They also had reed diffusers for $5 so I picked up a couple.

2:30 pm to 3 pm: After dropping off the Big Lots goodies at home, I grabbed the book I'm reading and went Blues City Deli for lunch. On my way, however, I saw the produce lady that sits in a parking lot up the street from my house. I stopped at her stand and bought tomatoes and pickling cukes. I made a batch of pickles last summer that were such a hit that my friend Mary H. has been after me since to teach her how to make them. When I saw the bins and bins of pickling cukes, I had to get them. She and I are making pickles today about 2, if you want to come by and watch.

Last year's batch.

3 pm to 3:30 pm: I finally make it to Blues City. This place makes the best sandwich in town. Period. No argument. The owner is a drummer who I met years and years ago when he played in my very favorite STL blues band, so it's also one of those places where everyone knows my name. My personal connection does not bias my judgment of the sandwiches, though. Seriously, look at it. This one is The Vino: fresh locally baked bread, roast beef, bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and a sweet red pepper sauce so tasty it'll make you wanna slap yo momma, which is why I never go there with her.

The ambiance in this place is kickin as well. There is generally one blues musician or another playing and the walls are covered in blues memorabilia.

I sat there, ignoring my book because the people watching was so awesome, eating my sandwich, enjoying the view, and listening to the musical talents of Jim "Ribtip" McClaren. It felt good to be alive.

3:30 pm to 4:30 pm: Again, up and down every aisle, but this time at Target. I had a list but I also had time so I browsed and browsed. I also spent double what I was expecting and had budgeted, but I had fun and got some great stuff.

4:45 pm to 6:30 pm: Carrying in bags, putting away goods and lounging on the couch.

6:30 pm to 11 pm: Hung out at Heathybear's new apartment. We intended to continue unpacking her stuff but when I got there she had popped a bottle of champagne to celebrate her new place so we sat on her couch drinking mimosas and watching Arrested Development until I couldn't keep my eyes open any more.

Well, I'm off to take my shower and then make sure we have all the ingredients we need to make pickles. If I already had that basket, I'd ride my bike to the store. Maybe I will anyway and take my backpack.

UPDATED TO ADD, 12:20 PM: I'm so glad I didn't take the bike. The bike shop was closed and the first grocery I went to didn't have fresh dill. The second one had everything I needed, but after having scanned my items in the self-checkout lane I realized I hadn't brought my wallet and had to go back home to get it. Add in that it's hotter than the underside of Satan's balls out there today, and you've got one me who never runs errands on her bike again. Crisis averted by laziness.

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Posted by Gwen | Labels: Frugality is Bliss, Home Improvements

As of mid-day Sunday my back porch looked like this:

By dusk it looked like this:

And now it looks like this:

This last picture does not depict the final product, but rather the prime coat - and only on half the porch at that. But it already looks so much better. The vertical pieces will stay white but everything horizontal will be the same sage green as this pot*:

I hope the sage softens the starkness of the white.

I really thought I could finish this project in one weekend, but each step took so much longer than I anticipated. If I do an hour's worth of painting every night after work this week I just might finish before next weekend.

Yeah, I laughed, too.

*BONUS FRUGAL TIDBIT:

This pot is actually two very inexpensive clay pots caulked together bottom-to-bottom, with the drain holes lined up. The bottom is an upside-down 10" pot and the top is an upside-right 16" pot. I painted these, but they were also very cool as plain clay. I think the whole thing cost $20.

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