Everything I Like Causes Cancer

I know! I know! Enough with the vacation posts already! I understand that my vacation probably isn't as exciting for you as it was for me, and you're likely tired of hearing me rave about it, but this one needs posted. First, because I have people to thank and second, because it was the best part of the trip.

Exactly one month ago I published this post about my upcoming trip and a sassy Irish beauty who blogs under the name Hello Ha Ha Narf had this to say about a boat tour she had recently taken in Cabo:

speaking of wonderful people, eduardo padilla and his awesome daughter laura run the best whale watching cruise around. their sunset cruise is spectacular as well. all you can drink on a small (38') cat. and the food! mmmm, the food laura makes is delish. highly recommended adventure. http://www.rissalena.com/ will get you to their page. prices are VERY reasonable.

Given that she seemed sane and her recommendation was so glowing, I booked it. And I am ever-so-glad that I did. We had an awesome week in Cabo, every moment was perfect, but the sunset cruise we took on The Rissalena was the highlight of the entire trip for all of us. The staff was knowledgeable and funny, the service was impeccable, the margaritas were the best we had all week, the food was delicious, the boat was beautiful, and the tour was stunning.

So, Hello Ha Ha Narf? Thank you, thank you, thank you. There are many other reasons I am happy that I met you over at Killer's, but we all appreciated your tip. It was fantastic. Sheep stone.

They played really fun, upbeat music about Mexico on our way out of the bay and while we tootled around the Sea of Cortez, but as they turned the boat to head back into the bay they surreptitiously switched the music over to opera. The entire experience was a feast for all the senses. Imagine listening to opera with the wind in your face as the sun sets behind this mountain. It was perfectly timed and incredibly moving.

While we were out there we saw this local fisherman pull in this giant squid. He threw this one back but caught another less than five minutes later. He kept the second one. Our Captain, Aramis, told us that a school of giant squid had recently taken up residence in the bay, much to the delight of the local fishermen.

The Gregger commented that this guy seemed to have more squid and women than he knew what to do with and wondered aloud how many women he had thrown back already.

. . . where there's no luggage and a touch of sun poisoning . . .

I just got home about 11 pm. The Atlanta airport was a clusterfuck - we got through immigration and customs easily enough only to be told we were to leave our luggage in this monstrous pile for security scanning later. Lil BRR and I knew instantly that we wouldn't see it when we got back to STL. I was too tired to make a fuss, so the bitchy calls will start tomorrow if it hasn't arrived by the assured time.

I apologize for being silent the past few days. We lost our phone lines about midday Wednesday and never got them back. Over coffee Friday morning The Gregger told me that he kept expecting a Geek Squad van to show up in our driveway with a blogging APB for me.

Well, I'm off to bed. I'm certain I have a cold and I'm exhausted.

Late Sunday afternoon as we lounged in the pool, L-Dawg announced that we had all been specially chosen for her Vacation A-Team based on the individual special skills and talents we possess. Pressed for details she explained the thought process behind each choice.

This is Lieutenant Bad Ass and his wife, D-Nana. LBA was the first and most clear choice given his former designation in the military as an Expert Marksman, which means he can hit at least 38 of 40 shots at 350 meters. His military might and security skills came in handy at one point on Sunday but none of us can remember what he saved us from. He's so good we've forgotten the danger.

D-Nana, a social worker, is available for counseling should one of us have a breakdown from the extensive sensory overload presented by this paradise. I requested a session last night at dinner, but fell asleep before she could intervene.

Pictured above are Dr. Drew and his wife, J-Grrrl. J-Grrrl’s mastery of all things food and drink has made her the most popular member of the Vacation A-Team. She has whipped up the most amazing snacks and meals out of what seems like thin air. Every couple of hours she disappears only to reappear a short time later with plates of wonder. We’ve had ceviche, shrimp ten ways, extraordinary nachos, scallops, salads with homemade croutons and dressing, and the list goes on. So far we’ve only eaten outside the house twice and neither time was the food even close to what we’re eating here at the house. Most importantly, however, J-Grrrrrl knows her way around a blender. Pitchers of delicious margaritas and pina coladas have flowed freely since we walked in the door.

Dr. Drew, formerly a drummer in a punk band and currently a physician, was an obvious choice given the Team’s propensity for marathon drinking and playing hard. He also proved handy in the kitchen last night, turning fresh squid into the best calamari I’ve ever eaten in my life. Even the tentacles were delicious.

Being L-Dawg's husband The Gregger was an easy invite, but his legal avocation places him in charge of negotiations with the locals and representation with the law should it become necessary. He was actually dispensing legal advice at breakfast one morning, but I can’t go into the details for fear of violating attorney-client privilege.

He and Dr. Drew have also proven skilled at the local grocery stores, fairly accurately selecting our groceries despite language and store-layout barriers. They make excellent Grocery Store Bitches.

Having an innate ability to commune with animal life, Lil BRR is the St. Francis of our Team. So far she has charmed hummingbirds, jack rabbits the size of dingos, a feral beauty we named Esmerelda, local whales (!) and Dante, the neighbors' golden retreiver. Granted, the left-over ceviche added to Lil’s ability to charm with Esse.

I was chosen for my skills as a photographer and historian. I'm also the Team's sous chef and laundress. It's a real hardship for me when I'm trying to publish this and get called to chop cilantro.

UPDATED TO ADD: Pictures of me actually doing my job. On the left you see me chopping the cilantro mentioned above. On the right? Cutting the cheese.

Britt and I were the first to arrive at 11:30. With little else to do while we waited three hours for the others to arrive, we sat at the airport bar and drank. After about 4 Dos Equis the bartender told us we needed to be in the other terminal to meet everyone else's flight. We had plenty of time and needed to sober up a bit so we decided to walk. It was a lot farther than we thought. We refer to it now as our drunk little jihad.


We finally made it to the other terminal and promptly ordered another round. After that one we made a rule that if the others didn't arrive in the next four minutes we'd get another. We waited two.


Once we got to the house it took 10 minutes for everyone to strip down and dive into the pool, an hour for us to have to make a beer run, and two hours for the boys to complete said run. It's a mystery to me how dinner happened, but it was incredible - huge, sweet shrimp (grilled AND boiled), fresh grilled asparagus, grilled pablano peppers, salad, and chorizo/egg tortillas. Everyone in this house loves food and is an amazing cook. I'm just so happy right now I could implode.