Everything I Like Causes Cancer

• It was a mistake for Eric to pass up the opportunity to backdoor Dick or Daniele. Zach hit the nail on the head when he said this was the perfect time to do it . . . the rest of the house guests, including Jessica, were either expecting it or hoping for it . . . they had the numbers to get one of them out . . . and doing so would have bolstered everyone's confidence in him and Jessica. As it stands now everyone else is fed up, disgusted, and planning their eviction. The worst part is that Dick and Daniele really are as dangerous as Zach and Amber were asserting; they saw the body language between Zach and Eric after the POV competition and immediately targeted Jessica.
• Do you believe the explanation Eric gave at the end in the diary room? That he let the nominations stand because of his assignment from America to get Amber nominated? Because I don't. The assignment only required her nomination. She got nominated. Task complete. Obligation over. Maybe he has a long-range plan that includes proposing to Jess, convincing her to take a dive so he's in the Final Two against one of the Donato's (a sure win), and then living happily ever after with her. Shut Up! It could happen.
• Amber and her weird praying. It's my position that a person's relationship with the deity of their choice is very personal and private so it follows that I think tearful praying in the diary room, where she knows her every word is being taped, is disingenuous. But the best part was when she asked God to bless himself. Can he do that? And even if he can, does he need to?
• When they showed the clip of Amber playing Power of Ten I was expecting her to ask, "What's pitbull mean?"
• I doubt she did it on purpose but I think it was in Amber's best interest NOT to win a large sum of money on Power of Ten. Nothing will kill you faster than the other contestants knowing you have money.*
• And finally, the money shot . . . Eric and Jessica FINALLY kissed! When he asked her if she wanted the lights off I thought, "Oh, yeah! It's ON!" And yay! He's a good kisser! I hate to admit it but, just like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes when they talked about a wedding.

*I loved it when they all scoffed at the idea of Drew Carey as the new host of The Price Is Right. Hee!

I was outside Sunday doing yard work. I was out there doing stuff that I wouldn't actually be doing yet if we'd had a milder summer. Stuff like pulling the dried husks of my formerly gorgeous potted plants, sweeping acorns and leaves dropped by the neighboring oak tree, and making plans for next year.

And then all of sudden I realized how ready I am for fall. I got a little misty imagining myself pulling out my favorite boots and jeans because the air is cool and crisp. I remembered going apple picking with my mom last year and how much fun we had on the hay wagon. I pictured a living room filled with my friends lounging in front of a football game. I could even smell a big pot of chili simmering in the kitchen. But the best? The thing that made me want to hop in the old De Lorean and jump ahead about thirty days?

Merb's Bionic Apples.

As I turned the calendar page today I gasped with excitement as I realized that the St. Joan of Arc Parish Homecoming is right around the corner!!! Oh, I can't wait . . . playing bingo and that one game with the States for plants . . . cold beers on the playground . . . funnel cakes . . . cold beers on the playground . . . Yes! Meet me at the corner of Hampton and Pernod on Saturday, September 8, or be a big, fat lame-o!

• Yay! Yay for some serious flirting between Jessica and Eric! While the romantic in me is rooting for them, the strategist hopes they are careful. There can be fatal fallout from hooking up in the house; there’s a huge risk that the other houseguests will see the close bond as a threat and scheme to bust it up. Also? What the heck is this about Eric having a girlfriend? This was the first I heard of it. I couldn’t get a read on Jessica’s feelings about it. I hope she’s careful.
• Does Amber seriously think she could be a model? That clip was just more evidence that she’s still on the drugs. Or she did so many that the damage was substantial. Jameka had to have been blowing smoke up Amber’s ass when she encouraged her to follow the dream.
• I love Jessica even more after this episode. I’m not sure we could ever hang out but I love watching her play.
• And? I was so right when I said the Dick/Danielle stuff was going to intensify as the game progressed. Danielle’s emotional control amazes me. She does a great job of showing only what she wants seen. But the pressure is on and I think it’s affecting her ability to control her emotions about Dick.
• Eric has completed 75% of America's assigned tasks. Details here.
  
  As an aside to LM, Zach reminds me of Brian Menkhausen. Keep that in mind tomorrow night and let me know what you think.

I was on a plane Thursday night when this aired so my Tivo caught it for me. However, it must have been storming or windy here because there's a section of the episode that Tivo didn't capture. And it's right after we see Jen in the pantry jumping on Dick's cigarettes.

I was dying to know what happened so I did some websearch. I'm going to discuss what I read but keep in mind I didn't actually see what BB aired; I might have picked up more info than was actually aired because a lot of the authors of these BB discussion sites watch the Showtime after-hours show and the live feeds.

It's my understanding that BB replaced Dick's ciggies because the rules state players can hide another's property but not destroy it. After receiving his replacement smokey treats, Dick blew smoke in Jen's face and she burned herself on the lit cigarette in her effort to wave it away. In retaliation for BB replacing Dick's smokes, Jen ate real food. As a result of the eating, BB told her that she was going to receive a "Penalty Nomination" but she found a loop-hole in the rules and only received a "Penalty Vote."

Several things come to my mind:

• You don't mess with other people's things. Period. I was shocked to see Jen pull such a stunt. (And yes, I was even very uncomfortable when Eric put mustard on Jen's pillow.)
• There's a lot of chatter on the web that Dick burned her on purpose. I haven't been able to find any video of it but choose to believe it was an accident. What do you think?
• I'm really curious to see how much of this was aired. Please comment and tell me.
• I think blatant disregard for any facet of the game should result in removal.

It was quite an event. Do you think the antics of these two will change future games? Will BB pick more people like Dick to get ratings? Will they avoid it to avoid potential trouble? Will any of the rules change?

A couple other things from Thursday:

• Dick and Danielle have been like peas and carrots lately. I have a feeling they are going to be around for a while. The tension in this game increases as the number of players decreases. Do you think their "outside the house" issues will resurface and/or intensify as the game pressure increases?
• Yay for Jessica winning HOH! I have to admit that I despised her when the game started. I found her vacuous and annoying. But she has proven to be quite a competitor. Although, that said? I don't think she'd be in the position she is today without Eric. BTW, I missed seeing them flirt this week. Kiss already, dammit!

It's been intermittently storming it's ass off here. Apparently it got pretty violent; I passed this on the way home from work:

I love a big, booming, earth-shaking summer thunderstorm . . . as long as I'm safe at home with nothing to do but watch and listen.

equitable deal
attorney so mad no shake
i'm gloating it's true

no research his fall
bad math bad law his demise
got beat by a girl

I'm about 10 minutes from leaving the office for the airport. Headed to San Fran for work. I just called the hotel I'm staying in tonight and found that there isn't any real option for Internet access so I'll not be here tomorrow.

Here's a topic for while I'm gone -
Should Mr. T have had an aquatic friend? Talk amongst yourselves.

• Jessica is so very into Eric and so very obvious about it. I love how she works the word "Boobies!" into every conversation they have. And he seems clueless. LM mentioned a while back that she thought he might be gay. I'm staring to think she may be right. Either way, he's playing his cards very close to his vest. I can't wait to find out what's really going on here.
• What the eff is up with Amber and her "vision from God." I think she may still be on the drugs. I'd love to know what Jameka really thinks of her. Clearly Jameka needs her as an ally so she's not going to call her out on the bat-shit krazee, but what's her take?
• Amber again. Two bullets for Amber today because the girl is a trainwreck. I almost fell off the couch laughing when she gave up the farm to Danielle. All Danielle wanted was assurance that Amber wouldn't nominate her next week (assuming Amber gets HOH) and she handed over everything - she agreed to vote however Danielle tells her, she agreed to never nominate her, and despite telling Jameka that she would never swear on her daughter, she did just that - voluntarily! She couldn't negotiate her way out of a parking lot.

And finally, I missed posting after Sunday's episode because I had no Internets, but I simply can't stop obsessing over the "Amber's Vocabulary" montage. Are you kidding me? She is the poster child for stupid. For those of you who don't watch, the montage was a series of clips of Amber engaged in conversations with other houseguests and repeatedly asking, "What's _______ mean?" The words she didn't know? Charismatic, superficial, integrity, backdoor, outed, sub-alliance, perceived, implication, and peanut gallery. I feel bad for bashing her so badly here today because it's just too easy. I should pick on someone my own brain's size.

Pattie came by the house about 10. She and I picked up Becky about 11. By noon we had Tammy and all of our stuff in the in the car and we were on the road!


We weren't too far down Highway 44 when we had our first taste of the Bucket of Love. Settle down - we had a designated driver.

• "I put the 44 Smackdown on 'em!" Trust me, you don't want to push Tammy far enough to get one.
• "We had a Bucket of Love when we left but now we've got a bucket of you-pissed-me-off and I'm-going-to-smack-the-shit-out-of-you." Pattie said it. She's mean.
• "If I'm not eating a meal where afterward I need soap to get the butter off my face, I'm going home." We had heard a nasty, vile rumor that Starvin' Marvins was closed. It was a lie.
• "How much is that in Celcius?" The answer was always 2. We said this one A LOT. Who am I kidding? We repeated all of these, and more, ad nauseum but still laughed really hard every time.
• "The Seatbelt Nazi" - Let's just say that Becky was serious about backseat passengers wearing their seatbelts. She also preferred the title "Safety Girl."

I was tempted to call PETA. It seemed obvious that management was using illegal monkey labor. But then I remembered I didn't care.

I promise that I am working on a recap of the vacation but I am still having issues connecting to the Internet. About the only time I can actually connect is in the morning when I am short on time. It's in the evening, when I have plenty of time to devote here, that I can't connect. I know that it has something to do with McAfee, I just haven't been able to fix it. Bear with me.

There was always a part of me that wished I'd had the balls to be a punk rock girl. I'm fascinated by those who choose to live on the fringe. But if I had? This would have been my anthem.

It's 4:30 on Saturday and I just walked in the door. I am exhausted, a little crispy from all the sun (not burnt, just a little dried out), and I can't wait for a shower in my own house. Don't get me wrong, I love Lazy Lee's, but I am damn glad to be home. We had an awesome time and maybe after a nap and Thursday's Big Brother episode, I'll come back and tell you about it.

I just got done watching the Astronaut Farmer starring Billy Bob Thornton. He had a dream of building a rocket and going into space. And by golly he lived that dream. Do you know what the dream would be for me if I were Billy Bob Thornton? How about not watching Angelina Jolie take all her junk out of my house. And then it really goes down hill.

I mean seriously, you come home from work or whatever, you turn on the television, and there she is with Brad. Billy Bob assumed it was all under control when she tatooed his name on her arm. But that really just underscored the generational gap between the two. For a 50 year old guy, getting a tatoo is the equivalent of dying your twigs and berries in Indian ink. For a woman in her mid-twenties, deciding to get a tat is like choosing between, well, things that a woman in her mid-twenties would choose between. ( I turn 40 next month) (no gifts, I wear size medium shorts if you must).

I'm going to bed for awhile. And I think its going to be a long, long time.

I saw a band the other night called the Garbanzos. They were playing at Venice Cafe, a prerequisite for which is to be somewhat "off the grid." The Garbanzos are. Sixty year old men playing a mixture of Cajun, polka, and rock music while dressed in women's clothes is attention grabbing. Although I still don't understand why the drummer took out his front five teeth to sing his one song. The spectacle meter was already registering pretty high and I don't think anyone likes a lisp. Tolerate yes, like no. I guess its conceivable.

Between sets, Gwen confronted one of the band members who was wearing a blouse with multi-colored polka dots. She told him that she once owned that same blouse and asked where he got it. He seemed kind of defensive. I wandered away, convinced that at any second Gwen would realize she had slept with him and given the blouse as a gift.

When we were outside having a drink, I met a couple from the Dominican Republic. As a baseball fan, I recognize that many of the best players in the U.S. are from the Dominican. Albert Pujols is just one of several dozen Dominicans currently playing in Major League Baseball. The Dominican Republic and Haiti share the island of Hispaniola, with Haiti occupying roughly a third of the island and the Dominican the other two-thirds. Like many countries, the borders between the two are arbitrary. The topography is the same in Haiti and the D.R.
I asked the couple why there are dozens of baseball players in the U.S. from their country, but exactly zero from Haiti. They had no idea.

I just went outside to turn off the sprinkler. An old man walking down the street commented on the heat and then asked if I had any extra appliances that he could have. I told him not really. Is an iron lung an appliance?

Pattie's picking me up at 10 and I still have to shower, pack and run to 7-11 so I better go get busy. I'll miss you guys! Be nice to The Gregger while I'm gone.

• Holy cow. The execution of Dick's plan to act like a full-on ass was impressive. That display was just awful. I like to think I'd be good at this game but I don't think I could have done that.
• Could there have been any more drama during the POV contest? That was really intense. I was certain Dick would blow it because he has a history of choking in the competitions.
• Daniele's outburst in the HOH room was so transparently strategy but I didn't see any of the houseguests' reactions to it. Do you think they bought it?
• And just what the heck was America thinking assigning Eric the task of giving Jessica the silent treatment? What possible reason is there for that? He's her best friend and confidant - she's HOH and relies on him for strategic input. That could have been deadly. Does anyone see any reason for this? Please, enlighten me.

A couple weeks ago I was ratting around in the basement and noticed that the floor was really wet - but just in one area toward the front of the house. It really freaked me out because I'm proud of the fact that the foundation to my 83 year old house is incredibly intact and hasn't moved in all those years (confirmed by an inspector prior to purchase.) While hauling wet boxes and ruined items out to the dumpster I remembered that a couple days prior I had inadvertently left the soaker hose running overnight in the front flower bed. Mystery solved. Right then and there I vowed to set a timer whenever I used the soaker hose in the future.

The best laid plans of mice and men . . . apparently I'm not mature enough or "ready" for the convenience of a soaker hose because I did it again. Only this time I left it running from Sunday late afternoon to Monday when I got home from work. When I went outside to pick up the Journal I noticed that the sidewalk out front was curiously wet and immediately ran back into the house and down into the basement. Yup. Totally wet. Same spot. Thankfully all the boxes were moved out of the area from the first episode.

I'm grounded from the soaker hose.