Everything I Like Causes Cancer

But I did just get home from seeing Coraline in 3D and it was awesome.  First, we got to wear (and keep!) these cutting-edge glasses:

And then I kept reaching out to touch things, like a moron:

But in all seriousness?  You need to go.  And you need to cough up the extra $2.50 to see it in 3D.  Skip that candy bar you buy every day at lunch.  Those calories aren't doing you any favors, anyway.

Right after college I rented a house with a couple of guys. We had pets, all kinds of pets. We had an iguana, two parakeets, an Oscar fish, a dog or two, and two ferrets. The ferrets were my favorites. I can't remember their names anymore but those two were hilarious!

They were brother and sister and I got them from a friend who was moving and couldn't keep them in the his new apartment. The little girl had hydrocephalus which meant that periodically her head would swell and she would just lay around the cage until she felt better. I'd had them for about a year when she had an episode that didn't get better. The vet couldn't do anything about it so I had to put her down. I still get weepy thinking about her.

But while we had them, we had fun! We had a remote control car that we ran around the house just for the boy because he loved to chase it and bite the tires. If you slowed it down enough he would jump on and ride it. About once a week I'd throw them in the tub for bath time and they loved it! I always had to leave my desk drawers open a smidge because they used it as a jungle gym - you never knew when an insatiably curious little head would come popping out of a drawer.

I loved those little turds and wish I had thought about ferrets before I got my cats. Don't get me wrong, I love my boys, but ferrets are SO MUCH FUN!

I drug H out of her sickbed on Sunday and took her to see the Sugar and Art Guild's Sugared, Spiced and Everything Iced show at the Botannical Gardens.  I'm pretty sure she hates me now and is scheming a payback.  You see, the "show" consisted of six large folding tables set up in a square to display about 30 cakes and a handful of cookies we couldn't even eat.

Because we're so young and spry we had enough energy left to go shopping after THE BIG SHOW and headed down to Gringo Jones where it seems they're having a sale of sorts.

There was more shopping that I won't bore you with but do you remember when I wished for a comfortable, full-body blanket and y'all told me to get a Snuggie?  Well, there's a reason it ends in "ugg(L)ie", if you know what I mean.  It is certainly functional and I love that you cared enough to offer assistance, but once one of you funny bastards likened it to a wizard cape I knew I could do better.  Judge for yourself:

The Vapors

Now this?  This keeps me warm, makes me feel all elegant and shit, and won't show Pizza Roll stains or Dorito crumbs.  I can't wait to stand in my front yard in it, shaking an upraised fist in rage, yelling at kids to stay off my lawn.

A week or so ago my ex-husband friended me on Facebook.  In and of itself, not a big deal - we forgave each other a long time ago and truly are friends again.  I even helped him through his last heartbreak.

I knew the title would reel you in, perverts.  But fer realz, I got a buttload of Valentines and they were all from girls.  Girls, the girls, they love me cuz I'm the overweight lover, Heavy D.

Returning to this century, let's see what I got . . . 

This beautiful postcard was sent by the even-more beautiful Bella all the way from Zagreb, Croatia.

The image and colors are perfect for my guest room where it will be proudly displayed as soon as I frame it.  I just wish there was a way to display the postmark as well.  (Please tell me I am not the only geek out here who loves postmarks.)

Thanks, Bella!  I was so sorry to read that you are leaving Blog Town, especially since it's in pursuit of something gainful like a job.  We will miss you.  Please hang around and say hi every now and then.  You keep me on my toes, missy, and I like it.

I also received a wonderful package from my blog wife, Whiskeymarie, who likes to play jokes.  Funny, funny jokes.

Lucky for her, she always sends goodies that take the sting out of the stink-eye I get from my mail man.

She sent the two magnets; the notepad on the left was already there but I kept it in the picture because you always seem so interested in what's on my fridge.  I can't wait to see how people react to a magnet of my own stupid face on my own stupid fridge.  

This next Valentine is vurry special.  It's from my girl Kendra who sent it down last weekend with her folks.

Not only did I get this super-awesome handmade card, which said other nice things about me like I rock and I am special thereby proving she's an incredibly bright and intuitive girl, but she also sent this very cute bear who quickly found a home in the windowsill on the landing.

And finally, Little BRR showed up Saturday morning ready to party and bearing gifts that included this card and a candy necklace/ring set.  I tried to wear the ring but it just looked like I was smelling my own finger.  Like this.

First and foremost, my doctor says I am not dying so stop crying already.  Apparently a day or two of antibiotics will have me right as rain.  It does, however, explain the stabbing back pain and exhaustion I had all weekend that I attributed to cleaning house and sleeping on an air mattress.

I took the day off today to get ready for the arrival of weekend house guests.  Five of my Chicagoland Gang - Johnny B, Mrs. Johnny B, Laugh and Mrs. Laugh, and Scope - are making the trek south on the Double Nickle today to spend the weekend with little ole me and go to the Taste of Soulard, the kick-off event of Mardi Gras here in The Lou.  I'm wicked excited and I have a ton of stuff to do - make beds, clean the basement bathroom (the one I'm afraid of), cook, go to the liquor store, clean - before they get here.

I found out Friday that it will take $1,000 worth of repairs to get my car to pass its State inspections.  This song has been running on a loop in my head ever since.

A friend posted this on Facebook and it made me laugh so hard I had to share.

This morning I took my car to a shop a couple blocks away for its bi-annual inspections and an oil change.  As I was walking home I decided to finally stop at the Bosnian bakery near my house.  I had zero expectation since I know nothing about Bosnian food despite the fact that I have lived in this predominantly Bosnian neighborhood five years.  Shame on me.

I am getting crushed at work this week and have little to say that isn't complaining.  I did hear a story on the radio this morning about how someone hacked into an Illinois Department of Transportation computer and changed the wording on a road sign near here to:

I can't remember where or how or who I learned this from but this recipe is so good you will always have to make two batches.  It's name, Fat Fat Sugar, will make sense in about three more lines: